Blueberry Hill
by mm-chan
Summary: One day Naruto is being bullied in the bus terminal and he escapes into a wrong bus. What happens when he meets a strange but good looking brunette in there? KankuroxNaruto/AU/Bullying/Yaoi.
1. A Rainy Friday

**-o-o-o- Blueberry Hill -o-o-o-**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own 'Naruto' and I don't make any money from these writings.  
><strong>Warnings:<strong> AU, bullying, eventually yaoi.  
><strong>Pairing:<strong> Kankuro x Naruto.

**Summary:** One day Naruto is being bullied in the bus terminal and he escapes into a wrong bus. What happens when he meets a strange but good looking brunette in there? KankuroxNaruto/AU/Bullying/Yaoi.

**-o-o-o-**

**A/N:** _I started writing this exact story in the summer 2008 but back then, my laptop suddenly died and the original story was erased. Now three and a half years later, I'm ready to rewrite this story. Because this is a story I want to tell you. I want to believe in kind people. Yet I constantly see the cruelness of this world, and it depresses me._

_I also wanted to portray Kankuro as a nice guy for once, because in my other stories, he's a monster of some sort._

**-o-o-o-**

**Chapter 1: A Rainy Friday**

**-o-o-o-**

This Friday was like any other September's day: rainy and chilly. The sky had cocooned itself in grey nimbuses which were trickling small and cold water drops to the ground. It was even blowing a bit, increasing the chilliness in the air. After the long, colorful and overall warm summer the current weather felt depressing, at least to a blond boy who was standing in the yard of the bus terminal in the center of Konoha, under the open sky, without having an umbrella with him.

The bullies had broken his light green frog umbrella just this morning. He was getting wetter minute by minute and the wind that blew through his thin clothes made him shiver involuntarily.

"Hey, there he is!" somebody shouted. And that somebody the blond knew all too well.

"Let's get him," a friend of the shouter's said, as a small gang started coming closer to the quivering blond.

"Hey Naruto, how's it going?" a brown haired boy asked, entwining his arm around the blond's shoulders like they were the best of buddies. But Naruto knew they were far from friends.

"Let go of me, Kiba," Naruto said defensively, not wanting this boy so close to him. The gang had gathered around him, preventing him from leaving easily.

"Ooh, he's so defensive today!" Kiba goaded, and the gang around him laughed.

The blond tried to wrench himself free of the brown haired boy's half-hug, knowing that he had to get out of the situation as fast as he could.

"What happened to your umbrella?" Kiba had to ask, even though he remembered very well how they had broken the stupid, childish thing in the morning.

"Let go of me, now!" Naruto said, and pushed the other boy away from him. He tried to break free of the wall of people around him, but somebody grabbed him from behind as someone else tackled him, and so he fell down on the puddle beneath him.

The gang let out gales of laughter because of this, and somebody even kicked the wet clothed blond on the side as he tried to get up. The blow wasn't too hard but it wasn't gentle, either, and it made Naruto's body hurt.

When the blond was finally back on his feet, the gang closed in on him again, letting Kiba face their victim. "I'm sick of you," the brown haired boy spat, and took hold of Naruto by the front of his shirt.

"Hit him!" somebody suggested, and this caused the gang to cheer.

Encouraged, Kiba looked at his prey with a feral look in his eyes. He was smirking, his fangs clearly showing, and to Naruto, he looked like a hungry wolf. And with one, quick movement, he hit the blond to the cheek.

Naruto let out a yelp and fell backwards, noticing how the members of the gang had moved away from behind his back in one smooth movement, letting him sway to the ground. With his butt first, he fell to the water puddle again, feeling his clothes get even wetter.

This chain of events got the gang's applause, as the people once again closed in on the blond. As Naruto tried to get up, somebody from behind him got an idea and pulled the blond's blue pants down, revealing his orange underpants that had a teddy bear pattern on them. The gang hooted at the embarrassing piece of clothing, and somebody gave Naruto a push, making the blond stagger.

As Naruto thought that this couldn't get any more embarrassing, somebody who was behind him wrenched his underpants down, too, leaving him naked from the hem of his shirt to his knees, where the waistbands of the both of his pants were.

"He's shaving!" one member of the gang shouted, noticing how hairless Naruto was down there.

"You _disgusting_ fag!" Kiba spat, and pushed Naruto to the puddle again, smirking as the blond's naked butt hit the cold water.

"Who are you shaving yourself for?" somebody yelled, as a blushing Naruto tried to get up again, pulling his water dripping pants back on.

"Maybe he has a boyfriend, somebody who's as faggot as he is!" another voice shouted.

"Let's take him to the bathroom," Kiba said evilly, smirking as he watched his victim.

Scared at the threat, Naruto's eyes widened. He didn't want to go to the bus terminal's bathroom, not with these guys! Only god knew what they could come up with. With new-found courage and strength, Naruto pushed past the people that had so far kept him inside the circle. Some hands were clenching to his clothes but he wrenched them off.

As he was finally free from the gang, he started to run away, knowing that they would follow him. Near him was a bus, its door open, and without thinking anything else but his escape, he burst into the vehicle, knowing that his bullies wouldn't dare to follow him in there. With shaking hands, he took out his little, plump frog purse and handed the driver some coins.

With that done, he started to walk down the hallway of the bus, trying to find a seat in the crowded place. The driver shouted after him that he had given too much money, but the blond didn't hear him. He was too shocked because of the recent happenings to pay attention to things like that. The only thing he could hear was the loud thumping of his frightened heart.

The first free seat was next to a brown haired man.

"Can I sit here?" Naruto asked politely, his voice quivering from shock and coldness.

"Sure," the man answered, not even bothering to look at the blond.

Thankful, Naruto sat down and put his schoolbag to his lap. He took a wavering breath and ran a hand though his damp hair, relieved that he was safe now.

Safe until the next time…

He was afraid of what he would've been put through if he hadn't made a desperate escape. As he recalled the moment when the bullies had pulled his pants down, he blushed brilliant red, ashamed that they had seen his childish underwear, ashamed that they had revealed his secret: that he indeed shaved himself. It was a secret he would've liked to keep. But now that the bullies knew about it, it wouldn't take longer than the next weekday until the whole school knew about it.

As if it hadn't been bad enough that the bullies knew he was gay.

Shivering because his clothes were wet and cold, Naruto tried to get his breathing even. As he couldn't rid his mind from the recent events, and how much they had_ hurt_ him, he felt like crying. He didn't cry often but now the shame and the experience of being violated in such a disgusting way felt like they were too much to bear. Besides, his cheek hurt and he feared there would appear a bruise. Once single tear escaped his eye, and he quickly dried it away. What if somebody on this bus had seen his bullying and now would see him crying? That would look so sissy!

Naruto glanced around, but no one was looking at him. The brunette next to him was looking out of the bus window, seemingly deep in thought. From what Naruto had time to notice, the man had lined his eyes with black kohl, had stylishly messy short brown hair and black clothes.

The blond blushed. He had a thing for brunettes, and this particular brown haired man wasn't bad looking at all. But so what? It wasn't like Naruto had any chances for this guy. The bullying had really crumbled down his self-confidence and self-respect. Why would anybody be interested in him, anyway? And now that he was all wet, he was hardly attractive.

Right then the engine of the bus fired, indicating that the bus was going to leave the terminal. That got Naruto starting out of his thoughts, for he realized now that he was now going somewhere—but he had no idea where exactly.

"Excuse me," the blond asked the brunette next to him, "But where is this bus going?"

The brunette had been peacefully enjoying his solitude so far, and the delicate voice brought him out of his musings. He turned to look at the blond boy next to him, who had a kind yet questioning look in his eyes. Somehow, the blue eyes of the boy looked sad to him, and he wondered what had made the boy so miserable. It was then he noticed that the boy's cheek was a bit swollen, and inwardly, he frowned because of this.

"Don't you know?" the brunette then asked, wondering why the blond was on the bus, if he had no idea of its destination.

"Well obviously I don't," Naruto answered, forcing a smile to his face. He knew that he most likely appeared as a very stupid person, for being on a bus and not knowing where it was going. But he couldn't help it, the bullies had literally driven him here.

"This one goes to the northern Konoha," the brunette answered in a short way. He stared at the blond, who still had a polite smile on his face.

Naruto stared back at the black eyes of the brunette. Those kohl-rimmed eyes somehow appealed to the blond, for they were calm and peaceful, yet at the same time confidence shone through them. Not only to brunettes but Naruto was also drawn to confident guys. He had tried to explain to himself why that was, and he had come to a conclusion that it was because he himself was so insecure. He often masked his insecurity by smiling and laughing, and for the most of the time, it worked.

"Come again?" Naruto asked, as he noticed that he hadn't really paid attention to what the brunette had been saying but instead to the man's looks.

The brunette raised an eyebrow at the question. Hadn't he just clearly said where this bus was going to? He had noticed that the blond boy had kept on staring at him, and zoning out. "Northern Konoha, that's where we're going to, this is the bus 18G," he then said, hoping that the weird blond would register his words this time.

"To the north?" Naruto seemed to wake up from his thoughts. He himself lived in the south-east side of Konoha, and knowing that he was now going to the opposite direction, made his spirits sink. How long would it take him to finally get home?

"Where would you have been going then?" the brunette asked. Now, he wasn't worried about this boy, that wasn't the case. He just felt… something else than worry, something he couldn't quite put his finger to. The blond smelled like muddy water and had obviously wet clothes. His hair also seemed damp. Added to that, he had seen from the corner of his eye how the blond had at first been shaking, from what, he didn't know, and the boy had also wiped his eye, as if there had been tears. Not to mention his swollen cheek. This all made him a bit worried. Worried? Was he really feeling like that? This boy was a complete stranger, after all.

"I live in the south-east side," Naruto answered. He usually took the line 32M to get home, for it drove just past his house.

"Oh," the brunette replied. So this little boy was going far away from home. Somehow, he felt sorry for the guy.

"Where are you going?" Naruto had the courage to ask. For some reason, he wanted to know more of this mysterious and good looking brunette.

"Why do you ask?" the man asked back, cautious. Just because he felt a little sympathy for this stranger, it didn't mean that they were friends or something.

"Uh… I'm just trying to keep the conversation going," the blond said uneasily, taken aback by the brunette's question.

"Ah," the brown haired man said, understanding. "I'm heading home."

"Isn't it boring when it has been raining the whole week?" Naruto changed the topic. He missed summer so much. Mostly because then, there was no school or bullying.

"No. I like rain," the brunette said, and it was true. He preferred autumn and winter over summer. He hailed from a desert city, and in his childhood, he had gotten enough of hotness and sunshine. But now in Konoha, there were four clearly different seasons and he liked that. It brought nice variety to the year.

"Man, how can anyone like rain? It's so depressing!" Naruto argued, really not understanding how this guy here could like the current weather.

"I come from Suna, where there was always so little rain," the brunette explained. Now that he was chatting with the blond, it felt rather nice. Usually, he didn't talk to the co-passengers on busses or on trains, but now he didn't mind speaking with the communicative boy.

"Well that explains it," Naruto said. Then, he had the courage to ask, "How long have you lived here, then?"

"About five years," the man replied, surprised how easy it was to open up about his life to this stranger. "Are you from somewhere else?"

"No, I've always lived here," the blond answered. He was about ask a question when he saw the other male push the STOP button.

The bus stopped, and Naruto got up from his seat, to let the brunette to the hallway and out of the bus. Just when the man moved past the blond, a scent of some expensive hair wax wafted into Naruto's nose. The scent had musk in it and some other manly tinge, which appealed to the blond.

"Hey, wait!" Naruto shouted after the brunette, and got also out of the bus. It was still raining. The man had unfurled his black umbrella, and was already walking away from the stop.

"Wait!" the blond shouted again, running after the pleasant-scented brunette.

Surprised, the man turned to look at the boy, raising his eyebrow. "What is it?"

"How can I get home?" Naruto asked, hopelessness in his voice, even though he tried to hide it. He didn't want to appear desperate, for the least of all he wanted this strange man's pity.

"Well the next bus leaves after hour and half," the brunette said. It really surprised him that the boy had followed him. Was the boy really so desperate? Somehow, he felt sympathy for him.

"Whaat? But…" Naruto sounded disappointed. He was standing there in rain, getting more soaked second by second, looking down to his shoes. "Well," he then started, his inborn optimism coming to the surface, "Is there any café nearby or some library, where I could spend time?"

"No, there isn't," the brunette was sorry to tell. "There is only a residential area here." He watched as the blond's orange shirt got darker and darker, because of the water soaking it. Hadn't this guy even an umbrella?

"Oh man…" Naruto sighed, looking crestfallen even though he tried his best to keep his face blank.

"Well," the man began, not sure what to say. The boy in front of him looked so pitiful, so small and so fragile. He felt sympathy for him, even though he rarely felt that for any strangers. This boy was an exception, however, and something quivered in his heart as he saw the spiky blond hair getting down, because of the downpour wetting them.

"You can come to my place," he then suddenly said, surprising himself, too. Had he really said that aloud?

"W-What?" Naruto asked, totally astonished. Was this stranger really offering his kindness to him?

"Come on," the brunette said and turned to walk forward. He kept on telling himself that this was the least he could do to help the blond. He was just being kind, that's all.

"Oh, okay!" Naruto exclaimed and ran after the man.

"Come under the umbrella," the brunette offered, and draped the thing so that it covered the blond, too. Even though he doubted that it would help, because the boy was already soaked.

"Thanks…" Naruto muttered, not used to this kind of kindness. This was new to him, yet he knew that he himself would've done the same to any stranger, too.

The brunette didn't say a word. He felt discomfort already because of his offering.

They walked ahead to the direction where the brunette led them. Soon the blacktopping of the road ended and a grit road began. On the both sides of the road, there was a thick conifer forest. When near the bus stop there had been some houses and even blocks of flats in view, there was now no settlement in sight. On they walked, and eventually, a narrow footpath diverged from the grit road, into the deep forest.

"This way," the brunette guided.

With ingenuousness, Naruto followed him. He wasn't scared at all, for his instincts told him that he could trust the older man.

They walked the footpath for some time, until a small cabin came into view. It was a light yellow wooden house with green window frames. The front door was surprisingly red. Next to the door, chimes were hung up, and they played their bright melody in the gusts of wind.

"The color of the door is pretty eye-catching," Naruto pointed out, as the brunette searched for his keys.

"I know. But as they teach in Feng Shui, a red front door is viewed as fortunate," the older man explained.

"Feng what?" Naruto asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Feng Shui, haven't you heard of it? It's a philosophy from the east," the brunette explained patiently, clearly not surprised that the blond hadn't been familiar with the term. Finally, the man found his keys and opened the door, walking in first and letting the blond boy follow him.

Once inside, Naruto took in his surroundings. Currently he was standing in a two-room apartment, which seemed to have a separate bathroom in it. The first, smaller room had all kind of renovating stuff like rolls on wallpapers, paint pots and some sort of tools on the floor. Clearly, the room wasn't finished and it was empty apart from the just mentioned things.

The second, bigger room was furnished and it was clear that this was the space where the brunette lived in. The first impression of the room was a bit saturnine, thanks to the walls that were painted violet. Black net curtains were almost completely in front of the window, and rays of setting sun percolated through them into the room. On the other side of the room there was a kitchenette with a refrigerator, whereas on the other side there was a bed with black sheets and a television.

The room lacked a sofa and a table with chairs, Naruto noticed, and wondered why that was.

The man had already taken off his shoes and jacket and spread the umbrella to dry in the bathroom. Naruto took his orange shoes off, too, and put his bag on the ground. A jacket he didn't even have, because he had forgotten it home this morning. He had been oversleeping again, and he had had to leave to school in a hurry.

The brunette was in the kitchen corner, taking some kitchen wares out of the cabinet. Then, he went to the refrigerator. As chill ran through Naruto's body and he suddenly sneezed, getting the attention of the man.

"I think you caught a cold," the brunette pointed out. It was no wonder, given how the blond had soaked in the cold rain. Again, he felt something akin to sympathy in his heart. He didn't know what it was exactly in the blond that made him feel that way. Maybe it was the blue eyes that looked sad whenever the boy thought no one was looking. Or maybe it was the boy's fragile presence, or his thin form. Either way, the brunette couldn't help but be kind to this blond.

"Maybe I did," Naruto answered with a smile, not caring that he had probably just fallen ill.

'_Maybe the blond should change into dry clothes'_, the brunette thought, for it was still over an hour before the bus to south-east side would arrive.

"Go take a hot shower. I'll give you some dry clothes," the brunette said, leaving the kitchen corner and heading to the drawer that was positioned against the wall.

"What?" Naruto exclaimed, totally surprised. He couldn't go to the shower. That would be just too kind of the man. "But I c-can't!"

"Nonsense. Besides, I don't want you to wet my floors," the brunette said. And if the blond would sit on his bed, like he most likely would, given that the other option was the floor, he wouldn't appreciate it if the sheets would get wet. He opened one of the drawer chests took out a black T-shirt, grey sweatpants, black socks and a dark purple towel. Then, he gave the pile to the blond, who looked dumbfounded.

"T-Thanks," Naruto stuttered. He hadn't expected this kind of kindness, not at all. He was used to being bullied and ridiculed, and now that somebody treated him like this, he felt surprised.

"No problem," the brunette said and watched as the blond went into the bathroom.

In the bathroom, Naruto furled the black umbrella so that he would have more room. Not knowing where to put it, he chose to place it on top of the washing machine. He locked the door, to feel safer, even though the brunette wasn't threatening at all. Then he stripped himself of his clothes. As he looked at his childish underpants, he remembered the bullies and the emotional hurt was present in his heart again.

Looking down to himself, he saw a bruise on his side, where the kick had landed on him. He could recall the moment when somebody had pulled his underpants down, revealing his most private parts to the gang of bullies. He blushed, and his eyes started to glisten from unshed tears. He could also remember how he had been pushed to the puddle of water right after that. He still felt dirty because of that. A sniff escaped his lips and he felt so violated all over again.

Closing his eyes, Naruto forced the happenings out of his mind. He didn't want to think about his life now. Not now when somebody was being this kind to him. He didn't want to let his bullies ruin even this moment now, too. It was enough that his late afternoon had been hellish.

He stepped into the shower space and let warm water embrace him. Oh how good it felt.

Once showered, Naruto was drying himself on the towel. It was so soft and smelled nice. As he slid it along his skin, it felt like a caress. He then put the dry clothes on, and hung the wet ones into the clothes hooks on the wall. He then exited the bathroom and felt much more comfortable in the borrowed clothes, even though they were too big for him.

"I warmed us some soup," the brunette said. He was hungry, and he had figured that it would've been rude to prepare food only for himself.

"You wouldn't have had to," Naruto said, once again astonished. And right then, his stomach rumbled.

"I see you're hungry, too," the man commented, smiling a little.

To that, the blond only blushed and looked down to his toes. He didn't really know how he should take the stranger's kindness. On the other hand, he was more than thankful but then again, he felt ashamed.

"Oh, what's your name, by the way," Naruto suddenly asked. He wanted to know the name of his helper. "My name is Naruto Uzumaki."

"I'm Kankuro," the brunette said and gave a bowl of soup to the blond. "Let's sit down on the bed, since I have no chairs. Sorry about that…"

"No, no! It's me who should be sorry. After all, I'm intruding your home," Naruto apologized as he sat down with the man. He really didn't see himself worthy of the brunette's kindness.

"But it was me who invited you," Kankuro pointed out, already eating the food.

They ate the mushroom soup in silence. Kankuro had finished first, and he got up, taking the now empty bowl to the sink. He had heard the one single sniff that the boy had let out while being in the bathroom, thanks to the paper thin walls, and he wondered what could have possibly caused the blond to cry. The blond had acted like that first on the bus, and now in here, and it made Kankuro wonder what on earth had happened. With these thoughts, he sat down to the bed again, next to the blond.

"Thanks," Naruto said as his bowl was finally empty. He took it to the sink and then got back sitting on the bed, not knowing what to do. There was still time until his bus would arrive.

"You're welcome," Kankuro replied, wondering what he should do next. Then, an idea came to him. "We can watch television."

Without hesitation, he then turned on the device. Some comedy show was on, and for a moment, they both watched it. Naruto yawned. The dry clothes, the safe atmosphere and the warm soup were relaxing him. This place was so unlike his home, he had to admit. And Kankuro's company was so nice. It sure felt nice to be accepted and taken care of. Naruto had no friends at the moment, and that's why he craved even more of the attention of this mysterious brunette. To the blond, it almost felt like they were friends already.

He yawned again but this time, his eyes started to droop. His back was against the wall, giving him support, and so he could feel more relaxed. He let his eyes close momentarily. He wouldn't sleep, he would just rest his eyes. With even breaths, he concentrated fully on how good and safe he felt at the moment. He heard Kankuro snort at some joke on the TV show and it made him smile a happy smile. Oh, how life was good at the moment. Without him noticing it, he was asleep in no time.

Kankuro liked the TV show that he was watching. It had situation comic in it and that genre always made him laugh. Suddenly, he glanced at the clock and noticed it was 19:32 already. The boy's bus would leave soon!

"Hey Naruto," Kankuro started and turned to look at the blond. The boy, however, was already in a deep sleep, given how he didn't react to what the brunette was saying. Kankuro was about to shake the boy awake, when his eyes hit the swollen and now even a bit bruised cheek. He frowned, wondering what on earth had happened to the blond. Who had the guts to hit such a fragile and petite person? What if something was going on at the blond's home? Would it be better to let the boy spend a night in here, for who knew what kind of environment he would end up in?

Asleep, Naruto started to slide down into a lying position. Once he was lying, he sleepily scratched his side. As his hand slipped down, the oversized, borrowed T-shirt he was wearing revealed a little part of the tanned skin on his side, due to the movement. And on that part, there showed a glimmer of that nasty bruise from the kick he had received earlier that day. Kankuro noticed this and moved the hem of the shirt up a bit more, thus revealing the disgusting bruise in all its horridness.

The black eyes darkened, and the brunette's frown deepened. Who the hell was beating this innocent boy? Deciding that he would call to a child welfare inspector the first thing in the morning, to report a case of violence towards child, he got up the bed, turned off the television and went to the bathroom.

There, he removed the make-up from his eyes, brushed his teeth and washed his face. He then went to the drawer to take a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt, and back in the bathroom, he changed them on. Looking himself in the mirror, Kankuro could see dark half-circles under his eyes. He had some sort of insomnia and during the last few nights, he hadn't really slept. That was taking its toll on him now, and he yawned.

He left the bathroom and saw the blond still sleeping, right next to the wall. He took a spare blanket that had been folded on the end of the bed, for the boy was sleeping on his made bed, on top of his usual blanket, and he couldn't move him without waking him up. So he spread the spare blanket on top of the blond, who breathed deep, even breaths.

Kankuro wondered where he himself would sleep. The floor wasn't a very tempting place to spend a night on but did he have a choice? He couldn't sleep next to a stranger! And besides, what would the boy think if he were to wake up in the middle of the night, and find that he, Kankuro, had chosen to invade the personal space and sleep next to him? Wouldn't the boy be scared? Or disgusted?

Besides, Kankuro knew he himself was a cuddling type, at least all his previous girlfriends had told him so, and it wouldn't give a good impression if he would wake up in the morning and find himself cuddling the stranger. And this boy, he was just a kid, wouldn't he found it also a bit pedophilic?

Shaking the unpleasant thought out of his mind, Kankuro decided to sleep on the floor. He would lean on the wall next to the drawer. Too bad he hadn't got a spare pillow.

Sleep came to the brunette surprisingly well that evening, despite the miserable sleeping position.

**-o-o-o-**

It was hunger that woke him up. Slowly, the blue eyes opened and blinked lazily. A fresh scent of clean bedclothes wafted into his nose. Everything felt so soft and comfortable. It was then his eyes blinked fully open. Where on earth was he?

Sitting up, Naruto realized that he wasn't in his own familiar bed but instead on the man's he had met only yesterday.

Talking about the man, the blond noticed that the brunette was still asleep, sitting on the floor and leaning against the wall. Because of this, Naruto felt a bit bad: the man had let him sleep on the bed, while the brunette had been forced to stay on the floor. And it was then the blond realized that he had been given a spare blanket, whereas Kankuro hadn't even a pillow. Just… wasn't there an end to the kindness of this man, Naruto wondered. Even though he knew that he himself would've done the exact same thing, if he were to host a stranger, or anybody else for that matter.

Had he really fallen asleep last night? He could only remember the good feeling of being in a nice company and how his stomach had been full. And the warmth, that had been remarkable, too. In his home, it was never this warm, and his bed, well, his old, lumpy and thin mattress wasn't even comparable to Kankuro's.

Glancing at the clock, Naruto noticed it was 6:04. He wondered on what time the buses would go to the area where he lived in. Deciding that he would ask the brunette once he was awake, Naruto went to the bathroom. His bladder would've killed him, if he hadn't gone.

Kankuro woke up to the sound of somebody pulling the plug. Yawning, he blinked his eyes, knowing that it was probably time to get up. As he moved into a standing position, he couldn't help but wince: his muscles hurt from sitting on the floor for so long. But it was nothing he couldn't handle. After stretching, he was beginning to feel a bit better.

"Oh, good morning," Naruto said happily, smiling, as he emerged from the bathroom. "Sorry if I woke you up."

"Never mind. I had slept long enough anyway," Kankuro lied. In reality, he would've liked to sleep at least a couple of hours longer.

The blond boy sat down on the bed, watching as the older male started to fix some food.

"Do you drink coffee?" Kankuro asked, his back turned to the boy.

"No," was the short reply. Naruto was only sixteen, and he thought he wasn't supposed to be a caffeine addict just yet. Talking about age, the blond wondered how old the brunette was. To him, it looked like he was 18 or 19 but he couldn't be sure.

"How old are you, by the way?" Naruto then asked, feeling that he should fill the silence with talking.

Kankuro stopped at what he was doing, and then turned to face the blond. He didn't like telling people his age, for he felt so old already. This crisis had started when he had turned twenty.

"Why would you ask?" he then said, a mysterious expression on his face.

"Well… I just thought that would be a suitable thing to ask," Naruto concluded. "I'm sixteen."

The brunette had already suspected that the boy would be so young. A kid, that's what the blond was. "Let's just say that I'm older than you," Kankuro said finally, turning his back again in order to get back to what he had been doing.

"I think you're eighteen and a half years old," Naruto guessed, scratching his head.

"That's fine for me," Kankuro just said, happy that he probably didn't look older.

"No but please, tell me your real age," Naruto pleaded. He wanted to get to know this brunette better.

"It's eighteen and half years, just as you said," Kankuro answered, smiling to himself.

"No you're not. I never guess people's age right," Naruto said stubbornly.

As the brunette didn't reply but started to make coffee instead, the conversation died. Naruto found this awkward, and so he opened his mouth again, to fill the silence with noise.

"What do you do for a living?" he asked, hoping he would get an answer this time.

Kankuro was silent, so deeply concentrated into making then breakfast. He had heard the question, however, but wasn't on the mood of telling the truth. Instead, he only said, "Aren't you talkative today."

"But I want to get to know you," the blond defended, "How else are we going to be friends?"

"Friends?" Kankuro had to ask. He was dumbfounded. Did this kid really want to be friends with him? They were strangers to each other, for god's sake! Besides, he had bad experience about getting friends, or rather, losing them. He knew why he hadn't any friends left.

"Yeah," Naruto assured. To him, it was only natural to try and befriend this man. His inborn optimism always encouraged him to seek out for new friends and acquaintances.

"I don't know about that…" Kankuro hesitated. "Shouldn't you be telling me things about yourself, too, not just asking me questions?" he then pointed out. He hadn't forgotten about the bruises.

"Like what?" Naruto asked. In his opinion, there was nothing interesting to tell about his life. He was, after all, being bullied and he had no friends. But those things, he was careful at not to tell anyone.

"Like where you got that bruise on your cheek," Kankuro said, worry clear in his voice. Now, the breakfast was ready.

"Uh?" Naruto was surprised. Then he cast his eyes downwards and sadness overtook his features. He didn't want to tell… "It's nothing. I just hit my face on the doorframe."

"Oh," Kankuro replied. Like he would believe a word that had been said. "Won't your parents be worried when you didn't go home last night?" he then asked, as he gave a bowl of porridge and a glass of strawberry-kiwi juice to the boy.

"No they won't," Naruto only said, accepting the food. He wasn't sure if he wanted to tell this man about his parents. But then again, if he told the brunette about them, the man might tell something about himself in exchange. "They're dead."

"Huh?" Kankuro said, his black eyes on the blue ones. "So you're an orphan, then?"

"Pretty much so," Naruto replied, eating his food already.

"But who takes care of you, then?" Kankuro asked. He just couldn't believe that this boy would survive all by himself.

"Me myself," Naruto said, forcing a grin to his face. He didn't feel like smiling but he also didn't want this man to get worried because he was an orphan.

"Is that even legally possible?" Kankuro wondered, thinking about the laws of their society.

"Well there's a state official who checks on me every month," Naruto assured, wolfing down his breakfast. The strawberry-kiwi juice was tasty, too.

"I see," Kankuro replied, now eating porridge, too. He had sat down on the bed, next to the blond.

As they ate, the conversation died and a natural silence fell over them. Kankuro couldn't help but wonder what a strange case this boy was. But if the kid didn't have any parents, who was behind those bruises? Kankuro hadn't forgotten about his idea of calling to a child welfare inspector. Should he really inform the authorities? What could they do? There was already some state official checking on the boy, so maybe the situation was under control. What if the boy had really been as clumsy as he claimed to, and had really hit his head on the doorframe? But then again, what about the bruise on the boy's side? Even though his instincts were telling him that everything was not okay, Kankuro decided to postpone the phone call.

"Thanks, it was delicious," Naruto said, his bowl and glass already empty. He hadn't eaten this good food for a long time.

"It was just porridge," Kankuro pointed out, looking amusedly at the boy.

"Never undervalue food," Naruto only said, smiling a bright smile. He hadn't much money, and that was the reason why he often had so little food back home. Hunger was a daily companion for him, but he had gotten used to it.

"True words," Kankuro mumbled as he took their bowls and glasses to the sink. He would wash the dishes later.

"When will my bus leave?" Naruto asked, remembering again that at some point, he would have to leave this nice place. The thought saddened him. At home, there would be no one waiting for him.

Kankuro glanced at the clock, and then scratched his head, trying to remember the schedules of the buses. "I'd say after a half an hour."

"I better change clothes, then," Naruto realized and went into the bathroom.

Fortunately, his own clothes had gotten dry over the night. It would've been unpleasant to get dressed in damp things. In silence, Naruto changed the clothes and put the borrowed T-shirt, socks and sweatpants on top of the washing machine, next to the furled umbrella. He then left the bathroom, and found Kankuro in front of the mirror, on the hallway, putting on some kohl.

"You like to make up, huh?" Naruto asked. He thought it was weird that this man used kohl. It wasn't girly in his opinion, just... strange.

"Yep. It sharpens the look," Kankuro explained. He had learned this habit when he had been 17 or 18, he couldn't quite remember. But since then, he had lined his eyes with a thin black line every morning.

Naruto knew that if he were to wear any kind of make-up, his bullies would most certainly pick on him even more because of that. Yep, he would just end up face first to a water puddle.

"I have to change clothes, too," Kankuro explained as he was done.

Naruto blushed slightly as he looked at the brunette now: the eyeliner really made the man look more intimidating. Without the blackness, the brunette looked much nicer and more casual. Naruto couldn't decide which he liked more: with or without kohl. And he blushed more as he realized that he was once again zoning out because he had thought about the man's good looks.

Meanwhile, Kankuro had gone to the bathroom, unaware of the blond's thoughts. After he was done changing clothes, he stylized his hair a little. Finally content with how he looked, he came out and glanced at the clock once more.

"We better get going so that you'll be in time," Kankuro said, already putting on his black Converse shoes.

"Yeah," Naruto replied, as he, too, started to lacing up his orange sneakers.

Before they left the house, Kankuro fetched his umbrella: it was still raining heavily.

Once outside, Kankuro held the umbrella so that they both could fit under it. Naruto blushed again as he had to walk so close to this good-scented brunette. The musk wafted into the blond's nose and for a fleeting moment, he felt his knees getting weak. It was silly, he kept on telling himself. He shouldn't react to him like this, yet he did and couldn't help it. There was just something in this man that appealed to him so much.

Naruto was so deep in thought that he didn't notice how long they had already walked. Suddenly, Kankuro stopped and the blond turned to look at him, surprised.

"We're at the bus stop," Kankuro answered to the questioning stare. Had the boy been zoning out again, like yesterday on the bus?

"Oh," Naruto said, as realization hit him. Then, he suddenly understood that he wanted to see this man again, he somehow needed this guy's company. Besides, he was eager to make a friend. "What's your phone number?"

Kankuro raised his eyebrow at the question. After a moment of silent surprise, he said, "Why do you need that?"

"So that we can meet again!" Naruto exclaimed, smiling his trademark smile.

Kankuro wasn't sure if he wanted to meet this boy again. Sure, the bruises worried him but he really didn't want to form a friendship, not to mention any deeper bond, because… What the hell was he just thinking? A deeper bond, with this guy? But Naruto was just a kid, for god's sake! And a guy at that! But friendship? That he might be able to manage.

"You give me your number, and I'll call you if I feel like it," Kankuro offered, looking at the boy. He wasn't too keen on giving his number to just anybody.

"Okay, that's fine for me," Naruto accepted. He then recited his number and watched as the man entered the information into his black cell phone.

"I got it," Kankuro said, putting his cell away.

"When will you call me?" Naruto asked, very eager to know. The truth was, he had very little to do in his free time, and something like meeting this man again made him excited.

"I don't know," Kankuro replied, and it was the truth. If he was going to call, that is. He wasn't sure what he would do with the kid if they met again: would they just… hang around? Or what?

Right then, the bus number 67 came on the horizon.

"Oh so 67 goes from the north side to the south-east side," Naruto said, understanding.

"Yes, it stops in the centre, in the bus terminal, but goes from there to the south-east area," Kankuro explained. "Does this drive past your house?" he then asked, realizing that the blond hadn't an umbrella with him.

"Pretty much so," Naruto said. In reality, he would have to walk about 500 meters until he would be home.

"That's good," Kankuro said and watched as the blond waved at the bus to stop.

"See you again!" Naruto said cheerfully as the bus stopped, opening its door.

"Yeah," Kankuro replied curtly.

The blond stepped into the vehicle, gave the driver some money and then, the door closed again. And just as quickly, the bus was moving, taking the strange blond away.

'_How weird that we met,'_ Kankuro thought, and turned to walk back home.

**-o-o-o-**

**A/N: **_I know for sure that there are people in this world who would give dry clothes to you, and be kind like that. I know there are people with whom you feel strangely connected right from the beginning, unable to explain what that strange chemistry is. So, from these points of view, I think this chapter wasn't very unrealistic, was it?_

_Also, I drew a picture of this chapter (see my profile for link)._


	2. Coffee, Friendship and a Message

**-o-o-o- ****Blueberry Hill ****-o-o-o-**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own 'Naruto' and I don't make any money from these writings.

**A/N: **_Sorry for the long wait...Thank you for all the reviews/favs/alerts! They make me very happy! I really appreciate all the support! *heart*_

**-o-o-o-**

**Chapter 2: Coffee, Friendship and a Message**

**-o-o-o-**

It was raining again, like it had been the whole month. Or at least that's how Naruto felt like: it was like the whole nature was crying, and it made him even sadder. He was lying on his old, lumpy bed and was staring at the ceiling. He could hear the raindrops drumming on the tin roof. It was always this noisy in here, as it rained.

They were quiet, the orphans downstairs. Naruto sighed and turned to lie on his side. It hadn't been too long since he, too, had lived among them. But luckily, after he had turned 16 the keeper of the orphanage had let him rent this apartment, which belonged to the orphanage. He could live here until he turned 18. After that, he would be a legal adult and would have to move to an apartment building owned by the city. At least now he had some privacy, when there weren't too many people sleeping in the same room. He felt more grown-up when he lived alone and took care of himself.

In his own eyes, taking care of himself promoted his low social status. Nowadays, he wasn't just an orphan, he was a boy who could manage all by himself, in outline. Still, he sometimes wished he had someone who would give a personal advice to him in certain matters. Since Kiba had started bullying him, even the few friends he had managed to make turned their backs on him, afraid that they too would get picked on. Besides, the rumors the bullies spread about him at school were enough to make people avoid him. Only today, the bullies had picked on him again, during lunch break. He had been afraid of getting into a fight, but instead Kiba had only assaulted him verbally.

Closing his eyes, Naruto concentrated on his breathing. It wouldn't be good if he thought about his bullies on his free time. It would only ruin his moment of solitude.

It had been almost two weeks since he had met the mysterious brunette on the bus. Since then, he hadn't heard of the man and he was starting to get sure that he wouldn't hear of him at all. Now that he thought back, he felt ridiculous. He had been too eager to befriend the man, no wonder if the brunette would've felt uneasy. But he couldn't help his loneliness that made him desperately want to get to know new people, in hopes that maybe somebody would turn out to be a true friend.

_Ring ring._

Naruto jolted up, his eyes fully open now as he heard his cell ringing. Maybe it would be the brunette! …Or another person that worked in the branch of telemarketing. Not letting his hopes die, Naruto took the phone from the nightstand and looked who the caller was. It was a number he didn't recognize.

"H-Hello," he said, sounding a bit too insecure to his own liking.

"Hi Naruto," the voice on the other end said.

This voice the blond could easily recognize, and the realization at who was calling him made his knees go weak. "Kankuro!" he exclaimed, smiling from ear to ear.

"How's it going?" Kankuro asked, sounding amused.

"Fine," Naruto said, even though he had just been plain bored moments ago.

"Listen," Kankuro said, "Would you like to hang around sometime?"

"Of course!" Naruto exclaimed, instantly becoming happy at the thought. He hoped he didn't sound too eager, for that wouldn't be good, either.

"Um, how about today?" Kankuro asked, sounding a bit unsure.

"Today?" Naruto began, then continued, "Today's fine!"

"How about if I come to see you, say, in half an hour? I'm in the centre of Konoha at the moment so it shouldn't take me longer to get there, to the south-east side. What was your address again?" Kankuro asked.

"That's okay to me," Naruto said happily, glad that his day had gotten such a turn. "I live in Meadowville and my address is Fox Street 14 C. It's next to the library."

"Okay, see you then," Kankuro promised and hung up.

Naruto jumped up from the sitting position and smiled toothily. He was so happy! Kankuro had called him, after all, and what was even better, they were about to see again soon! It was then Naruto realized what he was wearing: a green, worn-off T-shirt with red, old sweatpants. He couldn't show up like this! Rummaging through his drawer, he found some clean clothes: an orange long sleeved shirt and black jeans. Hurriedly, he changed them on.

Looking at himself in the mirror, he combed his hair, even though the spiky blond locks didn't stay down but stuck out in many different angles. _'This will do,' _he thought as he gave himself an overall look.

"Oh, the deodorant," Naruto remembered, and took a spray bottle from the bathroom. The odor was something akin to cedar. He lifted his shirt and sprayed the deodorant on himself, enjoying the beautiful scent that now floated in the air.

Too nervous to sit down, Naruto paced in the small room. He looked out of the window, into the rain, but couldn't see to the street from there. He was just about to start pacing again when somebody knocked on the door.

Quickly, Naruto went to open the door, a smile on his face already.

"Hi!" the blond exclaimed the moment he saw the brunette.

"Hello," Kankuro said, amused because the blond was so happy. Before this, nobody had been this delighted to see him around.

"Did you find here easily?" Naruto had to ask, as he let the brunette in.

"Yeah. I saw the library first and then I noticed the street sign of this street. I didn't know you lived above the orphanage," Kankuro said, furling his umbrella. Now that he was at Naruto's place, he took in his surroundings. The room was small, 15 square meters at tops and it seemingly included a bathroom. Because of the downpour the whole apartment was dark, even though there was a dim light bulb hanging from the roof. The walls were dark brown but in the scarce light they looked even darker. There was a kitchenette on one wall. In the corner there was an old looking unmade bed, and right next to it was a nightstand. Above the bed, on the wall, there was a poster of pork ramen. Kankuro wondered where the boy had gotten it.

"I used to live downstairs but they let me move in here," Naruto explained. In a way, he was proud that he could manage all by himself.

"So what do you do in your free time usually?" Kankuro asked, looking at the blond. This apartment if anything looked boring and depressing, and he was sure that no one would voluntarily spend leisure time in here.

"I hang around in here or in the library," Naruto said. "There are computers in the library, so I can surf on the Internet every now and then."

"Ah," Kankuro understood. He didn't like the Internet very much, for he wasn't good with computers. "Would you like to go hang around outside?" he then asked, hoping that the blond would want to leave this place. This small apartment wasn't homey and he didn't want to spend here more time than necessary.

"I'm not sure… It rains," Naruto pointed out, looking out of the window. He didn't want to be in this little apartment of his but on the other hand, he didn't want to go outside, either. But because there was no option in between the two, he would have to make a choice.

"Do you have an umbrella?" Kankuro asked. The last time he'd seen the boy, he hadn't had one.

"Yeah, I just bought a new one," Naruto told happily. He still missed his old frog umbrella.

"That's good," the brunette replied and then continued, "I think I have some ideas where we could go."

"Sounds interesting," the blond said instantly, smiling a bright smile. He put on his sneakers and took his blue jacket from the rack, not forgetting his new orange umbrella. It had been difficult to find an umbrella of a color he liked, for the stores often had only black or navy umbrellas.

As the boy was ready to go, Kankuro opened the door and led them into the stormy outside world.

"Where are we going to?" Naruto couldn't help but ask, as the brunette confidently took them to the direction of the western Meadowville.

"As you know, in the west where the residential area of Meadowville ends, the neighborhood of Blackwater begins," the brunette explained, giving a sideway glance to the boy.

"And? What's in there?" the blond asked, raising his eyebrows. "And how do you know this area so well?"

"Someone who once was my friend used to live in here," Kankuro answered shortly, not wanting to dwell in on the memory of that particular relationship any longer than necessary. "And I guess you just have to walk and see what Blackwater has to offer you," he then added mysteriously, smiling a little.

"So it's a surprise?" Naruto became enthusiastic instantly. He loved excitement and fun.

"No… Not really. But there's a place I want to show you," Kankuro replied, shrugging his shoulders.

They walked on in the rainy weather, dodging the water puddles. The sky was grey with clouds but momentarily, a few bright rays of sunlight pierced through the walls of nimbuses. Those rare moments made Naruto feel so good, for he missed summer and especially the sunlight very much. It blew a bit and the icy gusts penetrated the thin layer of Naruto's clothes with ease. The blond shuddered, aware of the fact that winter was definitely on its way.

At some point, they arrived in the harbor of Blackwater, which was the only harbor in Konoha. The waters they were now by weren't a part of any sea but a large lake, which was connected to other lakes. There were fewer ships in the harbor now than in the summer, when the ship traffic had been at its busiest. Naruto found the vista sad, for the lonely boats that quietly swayed on the waves reminded him of his own lack of friends. There was a small summer café nearby but it had been closed for winter already in the beginning of September. Its windows were black and it seemed very uninviting. Also, the few ships that still were there were partly rusty, time-worn or otherwise crude, a constant reminder that the time of beautiful, groomed, white boats—the time of summer—was absolutely over.

"Why did you want to show me this place?" the blond asked, his voice slightly sad. His eyes were cast to the grotesque view that the harbor offered.

"Because to me, the harbor is the most beautiful at this time of the year," Kankuro explained, fully turning to see the boy. As he saw a questioning look form on Naruto's face, he continued speaking. "You see, in the summer this place is full of life and people fuss around, children scream and ships come and go. There's no peace, just the continuing hassle. But now in the autumn there's only silence and solitude in here. Sure someone could interpret this as something sad but to me, this is a place of peacefulness during autumns."

"You're a strange person," Naruto couldn't help but comment as he amusedly looked at the older man. Now that he had heard the brunette's opinion about this harbor, he could see the place a bit more positively. "Let me guess: winter is your favorite season," he then said, smiling.

"You got that right," Kankuro answered, the corners of his mouth slightly curving up. Winter was an awesome period of time to him: mostly because back in Suna, there had been no snow or freezing coldness (except at some nights). Because to Kankuro, the blond seemed so sunny and happy for the most of the time, he guessed that Naruto's favorite season had to be summer but Kankuro didn't say his idea aloud.

"Do you like to play snowball fight, then? Or do you like to make snow angels?" Naruto couldn't help but ask, a playful smile on his face. He didn't like the snowball fights at school, for usually he was the target. But in his childhood he had had a friend with whom he had thrown snowballs towards each other, it had been fun. Naruto concentrated on the happy memory, letting it warm his heart in the chilly autumnal weather.

Kankuro gave the blond a questioning stare, raising his eyebrow. He was old already, he didn't play snowball fight. And snow angels, no adult really got down to the snowy ground like a child to make such a pattern. It was childish! Besides… those immature activities reminded him of one of his earlier girlfriends, with whom he had actually played snowball fight _and_ made snow angels, on the frozen lake of this harbor, after sunset. But she had been sort of crazy and impulsive, and he had played along just to please her. She had soon noticed how boring he was and… the end of story.

"Hey, what got you looking so sad?" Naruto asked, staring at the brunette next to him. Had his question been somehow out of place? Surely not…

"Ah, it's nothing, really," Kankuro said, waving his hand like it really wasn't anything. "And I don't like to play with snow so much," he then answered to the blond's question, almost laughing good-heartedly because he thought that the boy's query had been very childish. It amused him. But Naruto was just a kid, or at least innocent enough to come up with such ideas. But in the background, Kankuro worried if he really was a boring kind of guy. Did everyone think so? Did Naruto think so? Did he care if the blond thought so?

Because in a way, this Naruto kid here reminded him of that lively ex-girlfriend of his. The blond had the same kind of spark in his eyes, the same sort of enthusiasm and attitude. But that was where the similarities ended, and Kankuro was _not_ going to compare this boy here to his serious relationships. That would be stupid and uncalled for.

"Well… I hope you at least build some sort of lantern of snow balls to the yard of your house on winters?" Naruto asked. He thought that those kinds of sources of light were quite pretty and atmospheric, plus they were fun to do.

"Um… sure," Kankuro answered, telling a little white lie. He thought that snow lanterns were in the same category as snow castles―something that adults simply didn't do, unless to make their children happy.

"See, you got to find the fun of snow!" Naruto exclaimed happily. He had noticed that to most people, snow was a topic of complaining because it brought all kind of problems with it, like snow removals, power outages, slips that caused broken bones, and so on. But the blond didn't want to see all that. He viewed snow as the savior of the darkest time of the year. It reflected light and illuminated the blackness.

"Where next?" the blond couldn't help but ask, after they had took in the vista the harbor offered. He thought that since the brunette had contacted him today, he had some sort of a plan what they would do together.

"I have an idea, let's go that way," Kankuro announced, turning left. Soon they arrived into a small café.

They stepped inside, a little bell on the door ringing, indicating that new customers had just arrived. The café was quite plain in Naruto's opinion. A lot of light colors and pastel tones had been used in the decoration.

"Yeah I know this place looks kind of boring," Kankuro whispered quietly, "But the coffee here is excellent," he then added with a louder voice and got a pretty smile from the girl behind the cash register. Kankuro smiled back. This didn't go unnoticed by Naruto, who took it as a hint of the brunette's preferences.

"So, pick what you want to eat. It's my treat," Kankuro said, as they both looked at the menu.

"Um," Naruto pondered. There was no ramen in there. "I'll take… a sandwich and a hot cocoa."

"One sandwich? Come on, take at least some hot soup with it," the brunette encouraged, glancing at the skinny boy. He was sure that the blond didn't eat enough.

"Oh, okay. I'll take also a bowl of broccoli soup," Naruto then agreed, feeling a bit uneasy. He didn't want to spend the brunette's money too much.

"I'll have a cup of that godly coffee and the salad of the house," Kankuro made his order, not forgetting to smile again at the pretty girl as he gave his bank card.

They picked a seat near the window, putting the trays down to the table. They sat down opposite each other. Naruto looked outside, still ashamed that he hadn't been able to pay for his food. He wasn't used to people's kindness.

"Hey, don't worry," Kankuro said, giving a reassuring smile to the boy.

Naruto grinned back, even though he didn't feel like smiling.

"How do you know this place?" Naruto asked, tasting the soup. It was so good!

"Well," Kankuro began, wondering what he should say. He had come here quite often with that ex-girlfriend of his, but it had been a long time ago. What he chose to say, however, was, "My brother lives nearby. Sometimes we come here because the coffee is so great. And this place doesn't close until midnight, so we often come here for evening coffee."

"You drink coffee in the evening? But how's that going to help you sleep? Won't the caffeine just keep you awake?" Naruto wondered, taking a bite of his sandwich.

"Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't," the brunette shrugged, forking salad into his mouth. "Don't start drinking coffee," he then added.

"I won't. I'm energetic enough without it, anyways!" the blond said happily, his eyes thinning into slits as he grinned.

Kankuro watched as the blond ate. Now, the boy didn't have any visible bruises. That was good. But it didn't make him any less worried about the blond. What he couldn't understand was that how Naruto kept on smiling and being happy, when his life obviously wasn't so cheerful, judging by the bruises and by the apartment where the blond lived in.

"Thanks, it was really delicious," Naruto thanked, taking a last gulp of the sweet hot cocoa. Now, he felt sated.

"No problem," Kankuro said. He had almost eaten his salad and there was still some coffee in his cup.

Patiently, Naruto waited for the man to finish. He took this moment to immerse himself in observing the brunette. Those brown locks reminded him of his own hair but they also brought Kiba to his mind. But he didn't want to think about his main bully at the moment! Forcing some sad thoughts out of his mind, Naruto observed Kankuro once more. He had decided that he liked the man's eyes the best when they were outlined with kohl, for the look they then gave him was enough to send pleasant chills down his spine.

During the two weeks, Naruto had come to a conclusion that he could actually become attracted to this guy. Nobody had been this kind to him before, and the way Kankuro had taken care of him two weeks ago made his heart beat faster. This man here, he was more than nice. He was also damn good looking. This made Naruto blush and he hoped that Kankuro wouldn't notice it.

Then again, what were the chances that this man he had met on the bus was gay, too? The chances were very slim in Naruto's opinion, and his spirits sank because of the realization. Absentmindedly, he glanced at the girl behind the register, to whom Kankuro had so warmly smiled at. He welcomed the idea of a boyfriend but in practice, it wasn't so simple. At school, no one would talk to him. And he was too young to go to a gay bar. He wasn't sure if Konoha even had one. He had tried to socialize on the Internet but so far, no one had taken interest in him. Besides, he was a bit cautious towards Internet dating, for he didn't want that the person he was chatting with would turn out to be a child molester or a pervert of other kind.

All this thinking got Naruto a bit depressed, but his optimism forced him out of the sad thoughts. He would find a boyfriend someday, even if it would take some time. After this decision, he felt a bit more confident.

By now Kankuro had finished his meal. He glanced at the blond, who looked expectantly at him. "Let's head to the center, what do you think?" he then suggested. He felt that Blackwater had nothing interesting to offer for them, anymore.

"Sure, sounds like a good plan," Naruto agreed, as they stood up and left the café, making the little bell ring again.

The raining hadn't stopped in the meanwhile, so they had to unfurl their umbrellas again. Some bright colored leaves floated to the ground as they walked past a maple tree.

"You know," Naruto started a conversation, for the silence between them bothered him. "From all the trees, maple is my favorite. It's the most beautiful in autumn," he went on, looking up at the spectrum of yellow and orange leaves. "The least I like about pines and spruces, for they are boring grayish green all the time."

"That's funny, because I like the spruces best," Kankuro said, smiling slightly. His house was, after all, in the middle of a conifer forest. He was accustomed to those trees. "I think that their evergreen leaves portray some sort of stability. That not everything changes all the time. To me, it is a comforting thought."

"I can see your point of view. But maples are so much more fun! You know, when I was a kid, I used to watch as the 'whirlybirds' floated down to the ground like mini-helicopters. And when you opened them gently, they had that sticky substance inside, and I and my friend used to glue them to our noses! Man that was fun back then," Naruto laughed out loud. That was another happy memory.

"I bet it was fun," Kankuro only said, once again finding the topic a little childish. But he liked the way the blond chatted with him, it was so natural.

"What is your happiest childhood memory?" Naruto asked, smiling, for he had just told his.

The brunette was a little taken aback by the question. But when he thought, nothing came to his mind. Nothing. It wasn't that he had had an exceptionally bad childhood but it was because childhood had been so long ago. "Well… Maybe it was my brother's expression when I gave him a teddy as a birthday present one year?" Kankuro reckoned, not sure if it would be the number one of all those memories he was now somehow unable to properly recall.

"Aww, that sounds sweet," the blond replied, a little jealous that he hadn't any siblings, or parents. But that was just his role in this world, and there were much harder parts than his.

They chatted likewise the whole way to the center. When they were in the mall, Naruto caught a glimpse of a game arcade.

"Hey, can we go there? There are video games! I challenge you in Tekken!" the blond exclaimed, already going into the direction of the place.

Kankuro followed, not so sure into what he had just been challenged. But soon enough, it dawned onto him. The nature of the game was simple: attack and fight as much as you can, but don't forget defense, either.

"Hah! I won!" Naruto announced, as it read 'you win' in capital letters on his screen. "Want to play again?"

"Sure," the brunette accepted the challenge again. Somehow he didn't want to lose to the boy. "Brace yourself on losing because I'm going to kick your ass," he then added, smiling to himself. He had at first doomed the idea of video games as stupid but now that they were playing, it actually felt nice. An occasional curse from the blond interrupted his thoughts.

Kankuro wondered when had been the last time he had felt like this. It was like he was younger again, like time had stopped, like him getting older and closer to death had suddenly stopped. It amused him how the blond purposely overreacted when he lost a battle. The sheer energy that radiated from Naruto was rubbing off on him, too, and he admitted that it felt good. It hadn't been a bad idea to contact the boy, given how much fun they were now having.

During the playing, Kankuro wondered about age. Naruto was so young, and he felt so adult around the boy. He felt a tiny bit uncomfortable around the boy because Naruto was only 16, and he was much older. A friendship or even and acquaintanceship between the two of them wasn't very likely, yet here they were against all odds. Sometimes he felt like his life was sliding between his fingers, away, out of his reach. Since he had turned 18, years had passed fast, and now was the present day and he felt so old. If only he was 17 again, or 18! He would then have his future open before him, and he was certain he wouldn't make certain things or choices he had done. And if he was younger, he wouldn't feel this awkward around Naruto.

He had noticed that Naruto was more apt to attacking than defending. This knowledge helped Kankuro as he in return used those lacks in the blond's defense to his own benefit. The battles turned into more even as Kankuro got the idea of how to win. After the brunette had won three battles in a row, he casually said, "Who's laughing now?"

"Argh, how did you become so good so fast?" Naruto wondered, and he had a distant feeling that perhaps his opponent had some forgotten experience on fighting games, after all?

"Heh, I'm a quick learner," Kankuro only replied, as they left the game arcade. "Do you go there often?" he asked the boy.

"Quite often," the blond said, the thought making him a bit sad. Before, he had had friends who would come here to play with him. But nowadays when he was an outcast, he hadn't any other choice but to battle against the computer. It was okay, just sometimes harder to win.

"I have an idea," the brunette suddenly said, as his eyes hit some place in the distance.

The blond tried to follow his Kankuro's gaze but couldn't fathom to where they would go next. It surprised Naruto that after some walking, they now stood in front of a small pub. "But I can't go there, I'm underage!" he said, eyes wide and innocent.

"The age limit comes into effect not sooner than 21:30, so we can go there, unless you don't feel like it?" Kankuro inquired, starting to think that maybe this hadn't been such a good idea after all…

"No, I'm okay! It's just… I've never been into that kind of place before," Naruto quickly explained, feeling kind of childish and stupid.

"That's alright," the brunette replied, leading them inside the pub. It was dim and peacefully quiet in there and only a few people―probably regulars―occupied the bar.

This was a familiar place to Kankuro, who sometimes came here to read the newspaper and play billiards. They took a seat in the corner table, which was near a bandstand. The blond sat down but didn't seem relaxed. "I'll go get us something to drink. What would you like to have?" Kankuro asked, glancing to the direction of the bar.

"Uh… nothing, thanks," Naruto said, not sure if there was soda on the menu. He couldn't drink beer or anything, and he didn't even want to!

"Well, okay. I'll be right back," the brunette informed, then disappeared. He wasn't going to force the boy have a cocoa or something like that, if he was reluctant. He had a distant feeling that Naruto felt a bit uneasy about coming in here but maybe the boy's nervousness would fade for the time being? Shrugging the thoughts off of his mind, Kankuro made his order and then returned to the table.

Naruto eyed the steaming cup of coffee that was placed on Kankuro's side of the table. He had thought that the brunette would've had something that had alcohol in it, but he seemed to have been wrong. It was Wednesday after all, maybe the man had work tomorrow and that was the reason why he hadn't chosen to drink beer, for example?

"What are you thinking?" Kankuro couldn't help but ask as he saw the pensive look on the blond's face. He took a sip of the coffee. It was drinkable but not delicious.

"Just some things," Naruto replied, shrugging his shoulders. Then, he gathered his courage and tried to ask as casually as possible, "Do you like to drink beer?"

Kankuro thought that the question was a bit surprising. He took another sip, then glanced at the boy and said, "Not really. I rather have a glass of red wine, it feels more sophisticated in my opinion," he then said, leaning back in his chair.

"I've heard that red wine is the drink of artists," Naruto said in response, and then made a follow-up question. "What's your favorite genre of art, by the way?"

"I like modern art and cubism. What I can't stand are boring, old-fashioned portraits of flowers and fruits. I think that art has to have a message, and rather a strong one, like 'stop racism'," Kankuro answered and there was an excited tone in his voice as he spoke. "And I love it when someone has the courage to bend the boundaries, like draw a person's face in a skewed way, just because nobody usually does so. Everyone seems to aim to perfection, and it's boring. Also, I appreciate a bold using of colors, and if they're used in an unexpected way, it's all good," he added and his eyes glinted.

"Whoa, I didn't know you had so many opinions about art," Naruto said, surprised that the brunette had opened up so much. Art seemed to be a matter of passion to Kankuro. "Do you go to exhibitions often?"

"I usually go to see all the new exhibitions in Konoha Museum. I visit the museum almost every month," the brunette told. "And art is such a cheap hobby: the ticket cost only few coins. But if I started to collect the artworks, it would be a different story," Kankuro said, laughing a bit.

"That's true," Naruto replied, smiling. "Do you like to draw or paint, then?"

"Sometimes," Kankuro answered curtly.

"Could you show me some of your artworks someday?" the blond asked, hoping that he wasn't too daring.

"I don't know, they aren't that good…" the brunette hesitated, not sure if he wanted to share his mediocre creations with the boy. He was far from an artist, and now that he thought back at the things he had managed to create, they were maybe even below mediocre, at least in his opinion. To change the subject, Kankuro took a sip of the coffee and then asked, "What's your favorite subject at school?"

Naruto pondered a moment between P.E. and music lessons. On music lessons, there were rather nice people but on P.E., Kiba was present. Maybe the choice between the two wouldn't be so hard after all. With a slight consideration, he replied, "I guess it's music. I've been told that I've got a good singing voice and I even learned how to play drums," Naruto said, smiling because of his achievements. "And in music, you have a way to express yourself. But, for example, in math, there's no such creativity."

"You got that right," Kankuro agreed. Math hadn't been his favorite subject, either. "You like to be creative, then?" he asked the boy.

"No, I just like to express myself. I don't like boring facts that were a long time ago, like in history but then again, possibilities interest me. The future and the present day," the blond replied.

"That's a good attitude," the brunette only said, knowing that he himself was prone to dwell in the past and in things that weren't so recent anymore.

Their conversation was interrupted as someone who had climbed to the bandstand began speaking to a microphone, announcing that tonight's karaoke would now begin. Kankuro glanced at his watch, it was 19:00 already. A lot more people had come into the pub in the meanwhile. The brunette looked at the boy and noticed that something had changed in the blue eyes.

"Do you want to participate?" Kankuro asked, drinking the last of his coffee. In the background, someone was already singing 'Strangers in the Night'.

Naruto listened to the man who was performing the first karaoke song: it was a very popular song of 1960's. Only recently, there had been discussion about the music of the fifties and sixties at school, on music lessons. It was then that Naruto remembered that the northern area where Kankuro lived in was called Blueberry Hill. He had thought about that name when he had met Kankuro and visited his house, and even then, it had reminded him of a blues song he knew. "I might want to sing," he informed Kankuro, with a serious look on his face. "I just want to prove to you that I can sing," he then added, with a lighter air.

"Go ahead, then," the brunette replied, gesturing towards the stage. The first singer had just finished.

Naruto felt his heart thump loudly behind his ribs as he climbed to the bandstand, selected the song (luckily the machine had the particular song!), and took the microphone. As the music began, he momentarily closed his eyes and collected himself. He had already decided to whom this song was secretly dedicated to. But it was a secret he wanted to keep.

Kankuro listened to the opening music and instantly recognized that this had to be an old song. This was blues, if he was correct. He was waiting for the boy to begin singing.

"_I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill, on Blueberry Hill when I found you."_

The voice was soft yet strong, and it didn't quiver even though Naruto felt excited. He had decided that he would not look at Kankuro during the performance, for he was afraid that he would freeze and stop singing.

Kankuro watched the boy on the stage, and he couldn't help but admire the clear voice and how Naruto handled the tone so easily. He thought that it was just a coincidence that he happened to live in a district that had the same name as the place in the song. Maybe that's where the boy had gotten the idea to sing this?

"_The moon stood still on Blueberry Hill, and lingered until my dream came true."_

It was sung with such a deep emotion, and Kankuro was sure he had heard some longing even in the blond's voice. Naruto was looking straight ahead, into the distance, but the brunette saw the blue eyes shining. There was no doubt that Naruto could sing. His voice was beautiful, Kankuro had to admit that.

"_The wind in the willow played love's sweet melody, but all of those wows we made were never to be."_

Now the voice had changed into more painful, like there was true longing behind it. Kankuro watched as the blue eyes closed momentarily in the end of the line. The depth of emotion that the boy managed to put into this simple song amazed the brunette, and he couldn't help but think about all those broken relationships of his own. He had promised so much to so many people, yet here he was today, lonely and slightly bitter.

"_Though we're apart you're a part of me still, for you were my thrill on Blueberry Hill…"_

By now, the voice wasn't so sorrowful anymore and it had a lighter tone towards the end. Naruto had his eyes closed as he drained the emotions into the last of the song. When the last line was sung, the music ended and the roar of applause that followed caught Naruto by surprise. Had he been that good?

"Well done," Kankuro commented and clapped his hands with the rest of the crowd, as the blond had finally climbed down the stage and returned to the nearby table. "You're really good."

Finally, Naruto had the courage to meet the black eyes of the brunette. There was a small smile on Kankuro's face and the blond returned it with a grin of his own. "Thanks," he said.

"You sing blues with such agony that it makes me wonder if some mean girl has broken your heart or something," the brunette said, and in the background the next singer was already singing some popular song.

"I'm just good at empathizing," the blond offered for an answer. He didn't want to think that in the background, there had been the strange attraction-like feeling he had towards Kankuro. It was just a little crush based on how good-looking and how nice the man was. He was only attracted, and after all, he had always been quick to form infatuations for people.

For an answer, Kankuro only shrugged his shoulders as they listened to the karaoke performances. But none of them were as good as Naruto had been, in the brunette's opinion. He had really liked the blond's performance, yet it had made him feel a tiny bit weird that he himself lived in the Blueberry Hill, and that the sad love song was about a similar named place. But it was just a coincidence, wasn't it?

They stayed in the pub until it was 19:45. At some point, Kankuro had bought another cup of coffee. When the last of it had been gulped down, the brunette had suggested that they should leave. He hadn't been sure what the boy's usual bedtime was, but he believed it was around nine or ten.

Quietly, they left the pub and the mall, and walked towards the bus terminal.

"It sure has been nice today," Naruto said. This had been way better day than his average Wednesday.

"I had fun, too," was all Kankuro said. He really had enjoyed the boy's company, yet he wasn't sure if they were friends already. He was a bit cautious towards friendships.

"You know, I consider us friends already," the blond suddenly informed, smiling brightly. The sun was setting and some streetlamps were already lit.

"That's nice," the brunette replied, even though he felt a bit scared. Had he given too much hope to this boy about his ability to maintain any kind of relationships? Was he having too high hopes himself if he thought that they could be friends? What if that, what had happened with everybody else, would happen again with Naruto?

"You don't sound enthusiastic," the blond pointed out, looking at the man with his wide blue eyes.

Kankuro saw sadness filling the blue pools and he realized he had to say something nice, and rather quickly! "I'm sorry. I'm glad you've accepted me as your friend. I appreciate it."

For an answer, Naruto only smiled warmly.

They finally arrived in the terminal, but their busses would leave on different platforms. Since Naruto's bus would arrive first, Kankuro decided to wait for it with the boy. "When will you call me again?" the blond asked, his trademark enthusiasm audible in his voice.

"You can call me, too. I gave you a call today, so you should have my number that way," Kankuro replied, glancing at the boy. He just wasn't sure if he could meet the blond's expectations of a friendship. He didn't want to disappoint the boy but he might have to do just that.

"You're right, I hadn't thought about that," Naruto realized. He was happy that he now had a way to contact his newest and sadly―his only―friend. He didn't want to think about tomorrow, because school was pain and he was really tired of the name-calling and prejudices and shoving around. All in all, the ignorance people treated him with made him annoyed, angry even. They never cared. Nobody would stand up to him, no one would help him get up when he fell.

"Your bus is coming," Kankuro said, inspecting the sadness that seemed to have taken over the blond. He wondered what had caused that emotion to surface.

"I'll give you a call someday," was all Naruto said as he got on the vehicle, and waved briefly goodbye.

Kankuro nodded, and after that he walked to the platform where his bus would arrive on.

**-o-o-o-**

Washing dishes had never been one of Naruto's favorite household works but given that the unclean wares wouldn't clean themselves, he had rolled up his sleeves and gotten to the task at hand.

While he cleansed the plates, mugs, forks and spoons he let his mind wander. It sure had been wonderful today. He had spent nice time with a friend. Oh yes, he had really made a friend, Naruto suddenly realized. But right after the pleasant insight, dark thoughts popped into his mind and he wondered if Kankuro would want to be his friend if the brunette knew about the bullying. A part of Naruto feared that the brunette would quit their friendship if he knew how unpopular the blond was. Who would want to be a friend of an outcast anyway? Shaking his head, Naruto drove that particular idea way: Surely he, too, deserved a friend. At least one, didn't he?

And surely Kankuro would be mature enough to not care about Naruto's disfavor, if the bullying somehow would get into the knowledge of the brunette. At least the blond hoped so. But then, another dark and unpleasant thought crept into Naruto's mind: What if Kankuro found out about the bullying and would start to pick on the blond, too? What if Kankuro would really join the bullies? What if the brunette would find Naruto weak and stupid and laugh at him? A cool, disgusting shiver ran down Naruto's spine. No, that wouldn't happen. Kankuro seemed genuinely trustworthy and mature, he surely wouldn't turn out to be a nasty person.

Sighing, Naruto began to rinse the just washed dishes that were now covered with soapy water. Tomorrow would be Thursday and hopefully, he would be left alone by the bullies. Then there would be Friday, and then a long expected weekend. Naruto always waited for the weekends with enthusiasm, for he wasn't particularly good at school and other students (and even a part of the teachers) regarded him as a failure. It was depressing but he always tried his best to succeed, even though he often failed.

But this weekend, he was going to call Kankuro and ask if the brunette wanted to hang out again, now that he had the phone number.

The decision made Naruto smile softly. At least he now had somebody who considered him a friend, or at least an acquaintance. Now in a better mood, the blond began to dry the clean dishes.

**-o-o-o-**

Meanwhile, in his little cozy cabin, Kankuro was already lying under the cover, in his silky black bed. He had thought that if he went to bed earlier, he would have better chances to catch sleep instead of staying awake because of his occasional insomnia. But sleep didn't seem to want to come yet. He had closed his eyes to lure the tiredness in him, but to no avail. Maybe he shouldn't have drunk that one last cup of coffee? Now that he was forced to stay awake, his thoughts began to wander to the blond.

In a way, being in Naruto's company made him feel mentally younger―however, it all but made him forget his real age. The blond's childlike features and youthful voice were, in the brunette's opinion, a sharp contrast to his own low tone and rough physiognomy. Trying not to concentrate so much on their age difference (because it really was something that mere thinking couldn't change), Kankuro reflected the time they had spent together. He admitted that he felt quite relaxed around the boy. The blond's aura sent a message that Naruto could be trusted.

Kankuro feared that he would reveal too much about himself to the blond. It felt safer that a person, whom he didn't know so well yet, didn't know too much about him. He wanted to… avoid trouble. Maybe that was the main reason why he hadn't many relationships left anymore. He liked to have people around him but he disliked the responsibilities and expectations they brought. He wasn't selfish, that wasn't the case. He was just… tired, but he hadn't always been like that.

Naruto was strange. He was like a small sun, shining brightly. The blond had his gaze on the future and he didn't seem to dwell on the past so much. It was a trait Kankuro appreciated, and he thought that maybe, just maybe, he should learn that skill from the boy. But then again, the brunette had come to notice that there was a night side in the boy: the sorrow in the blue eyes seemed to have an old origin, it was so deep-rooted. Kankuro imagined that it had to do with Naruto's orphanage, perhaps.

Kankuro recalled how trustingly Naruto had come to his house the first time they'd met, without thinking that anything was out of the ordinary. What had Kankuro done to give such a trustworthy impression to the boy? Or was it just that Naruto was so optimistic, always thinking that things would turn out alright? Couldn't the kid see that world was evil and opening up to new people was risky?

There was something Kankuro wasn't too keen on admitting. It was that he had actually enjoyed Naruto's company. The blond was honestly friendly and something in the boy made Kankuro feel sympathy. At the same time, the brunette was a bit alarmed, because it was always safer to keep people distant than let them close. And Naruto had announced that the two of them were friends already. Kankuro felt a bit unnerved, for he had really made a friend―and knowing that he would someday lose the boy, lose their friendship, made him worry in advance. Relationships, like friendships, were meant to end at some point and it always brought pain. And because of that, Kankuro felt scared.

He didn't want to hurt Naruto but he didn't want to hurt himself, either.

**-o-o-o-**

Later that evening, just before closing time, Naruto was in the nearby library surfing on the Internet. He logged into a site where people were able to leave their date ads, for he had his own advert in there, too. Usually he had no messages because nobody was interested in him but today, his inbox showed one private message. Pulse quickening, Naruto clicked the message to open it. It read:

'_Hello xXxYellowFox2000xXx! I saw your ad and I noticed you were from Konoha, too. Would you like to talk more with me? Maybe we could meet some time? What do you look like? (I have red hair and green eyes.) What are your hobbies? -ShukakuBoy667-'_

Suddenly full of excitement, Naruto started to think what he should answer. He was sorry that he hadn't a picture of himself on his profile page, but it would've been too tricky to transfer an image from his cell phone to the computer in the library. Oh, he was so thrilled! Somebody had at long last taken interest in him! And what was good was that the other guy was from Konoha, too, for Naruto wasn't willing to form a long-range relationship.

Before replying, Naruto clicked himself to the ShukakuBoy667's profile page. There he saw a rather vague picture of the guy, who obviously had flaming red hair and jade green eyes. Also, the guy's eyes had dark circles around them. _'Pretty intimidating,'_ Naruto thought but he liked what he was seeing nevertheless. He also checked the guy's interests and other profile information. He found out that the ShukakuBoy667 was 23 years old and that he was looking for a company of people who were 16 - 100 years old. This amused Naruto a bit. Also, the guy seemed to love coffee and pop music.

Glad that the guy seemed to be okay and not some nutcase or pervert, Naruto started to write a reply with slightly shaking hands. What he answered was this:

'_Hi ShukakuBoy667 and thanks for your message! Sure it would be nice to talk with you more. We could meet once we know each other a bit better. And oh, I have blue eyes and blond hair and I like to eat ramen. What are your hobbies btw? -xXxYellowFox2000xXx-'_

At the moment, Naruto was so happy that finally, somebody had taken interest in him. What made him extra joyful was that the guy seemed to be rather normal. Now that the message was sent, Naruto logged out and left the library.

On his way home, he reflected about his relationship with Kankuro. Sure, if he was honest with himself, he admitted that he was interested in the guy _in that way_. But it was a whole different matter if his feelings would ever be returned. That's why, he reasoned, it wouldn't do harm to see how things would go with this ShukakuBoy667. He wasn't cheating Kankuro or anything. He was just checking all his options, right?

**-o-o-o-**

**A/N:** _The song Naruto sang was "Blueberry Hill" by Fats Domino. I promise that the next chapter won't take too long! ^_^_


	3. Hollow

**-o-o-o- ****Blueberry Hill ****-o-o-o-**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own 'Naruto' and I don't make any money from these writings.

**A/N: **_Thanks to everyone who has read so far, faved and/or reviewed!_

_So sorry for the slow updates: I graduated, then I got a job, and then I got an even better job! Life has kept me busy…_

_Okay, this chapter might be a bit weird. A warning for a sad Naruto. I mean, it won't be that bad but he can't be happy all the time._

**-o-o-o-**

**Chapter 3: Hollow**

**-o-o-o-**

It was Friday morning already, and Kankuro groaned. He had endured another poorly slept night. The brunette was under the black velvety blanket, wishing it was still night and that he would have a lot of time to catch sleep. He had many things going on in his mind, and the most burning thing concerned his sexual health.

For six months now, or perhaps a year already, it had been hard for him to get off on anything. The usual things that had turned him on until now, didn't do much to him nowadays. His latest sexual relationship had ended about two months ago. The whole thing hadn't lasted long, partly thanks to his inability to get turned on by the woman. There had been nothing wrong with her, she had been beautiful and lovely, yet he hadn't felt 'right' with her. Kankuro felt like there was always something missing in his relationships with other people.

There were days when he felt so emasculated, even castrated that he feared he would never be his normal self again. A wave of embarrassment washed over him as he remembered all the times when he had lost his erection during sex. Before, that had never happened. It was as if there was something missing and Kankuro couldn't quite pinpoint what it was.

Groaning again, Kankuro discarded the blanket and got up from the bed. In the bathroom, he stared at himself in the mirror and noticed that few more lines had appeared under his eyes, thanks to the sleepless night. Ignoring the notice, he stepped into the shower. Every morning, he used to have a hard-on but during the past year, things had changed. When had he jerked off the last time? It had to be a week ago. His sexual appetite just was so capricious, he couldn't help it. Gently, he took hold of his limp member but he didn't feel anything: not good or bad. God, what was wrong with him?

He admitted that for the last year, he had felt more stressed at work, mostly because his workmates had changed, and this in turn had changed the atmosphere. But it was nothing he couldn't handle. His new workmates were quite nice actually, even though they were different than the old ones.

**-o-o-o-**

It was six o'clock now in the evening and Kankuro was in the bus terminal, waiting for the 18G like any given weekday. It was October now, and the raining had decreased a lot since September. Today was another chilly day with a bright sky and no rain.

Peacefully, Kankuro was minding his own business, when a thought of Naruto crossed his mind. It had been another two weeks since he had seen the kid. He wondered how the boy was doing. Naruto had called him once or twice but he hadn't answered the phone. Kankuro just wasn't sure if it was okay to hang out with the boy. Maybe they weren't meant to be friends, after all.

Maybe he should forget the cheerful blond.

"Fag!" somebody shouted and then some people laughed and Kankuro turned to see what the ruckus was all about.

In the distance, he saw that a small gang of people had gathered around. He heard a slap, and then the people in the gang moved away, letting someone with a blue jacket and yellow blond hair fall to the ground. That someone reminded Kankuro about…

"Naruto!" he shouted, starting to walk rather quickly to the direction of the people.

Naruto held his sore cheek on the ground, when one member of the gang grabbed the front of his jacket and pulled him standing. In the distance, the blond heard his name being called, but he had no time to think about it when another hit came. This time, he didn't fall to the ground but remained standing on his feet.

"What the hell is happening here!?" came a forthcoming and stern voice behind Naruto's back, and the blond instantly recognized the speaker. In a second, he felt so pitiful and weak, and ashamed because Kankuro was now witnessing of him being bullied and ridiculed.

Quickly, Kankuro moved to stand in front of Naruto, shielding the blond and stared very angrily at the gang of four bullies.

"He's got a boyfriend!" one of them whispered to another, and this caused Kiba's expression to turn into a disgusted one. In Kiba's opinion, there was nothing more disgusting than gay people.

"Shut up!" Kankuro said heatedly, not feeling any mercy at all towards these pitiful excuses of human beings. How dared they hurt someone as innocent and as friendly as the blond! "And you better leave Naruto alone!"

"Move away," Kiba said back to the brunette, "This is none of your business!" After saying that, Kiba tried to get past Kankuro to grab a hold of Naruto. Kankuro however, saw that coming and blocked the teenager's attempt with one hand.

"I told you to stay away from Naruto," Kankuro said in a low and dangerous voice, staring daggers at the brown haired teenage bully.

"Well you're not the boss of me," Kiba barked back and shoved the older man to the chest with his two hands.

Kankuro swayed a bit but was now becoming even angrier. He wouldn't let someone as pitiful as a bully shove him around! Cool rage filled him, and eyes shining like there was fire in them, he grabbed Kiba's front and saw that the bully's eyes reflected fear for a short moment.

"If I ever catch you hurting Naruto again, you will regret you were ever even born," Kankuro spoke in a stern voice and then pushed Kiba to the ground. The brown haired bully let out an 'oof' as his back and behind connected with the hard asphalt.

Stumbling, Kiba got up, a defeated look in his eyes. However, the look quickly changed into an angry one, and the bully turned to see Naruto, who was curiously peeking from behind Kankuro's back. "You got out of it this time, _fag_ but the next time your _boyfriend_ isn't around, we'll get you," Kiba made a promise, pointing his finger at the blond. Then, he turned to his fellow gang members and said, "Come on, let's go."

Obeying the order of their leader, the three gang members followed Kiba, in silence. Once they were gone, Kankuro turned around to see Naruto.

"Are you alright?" the brunette asked, a gentle look in his eyes.

"Yeah, I'm alright," Naruto answered, absentmindedly touching his sore cheek. It would surely get swollen afterwards and it saddened him. Also, the fact that the brunette now knew that he was being bullied made him heartsick.

"Don't care about what they said," Kankuro comforted his friend and turned to see that the 18G had just arrived to the platform. He ignored it, however, for he had now more important things to do than going home.

"Uh… I never do," Naruto lied, looking down at the tips of his orange sneakers.

The brunette evaluated the blond for a moment and couldn't help but notice that the familiar sorrow was in the boy's being again. He was quite sure that Naruto took everything they said straight into his heart.

"Naruto," Kankuro said, still looking gently at the boy who didn't seem to want to meet his eyes.

"Yeah?" Naruto replied, lifting his face to see his friend. Usually, he liked to meet people's eyes but at this moment, he felt like avoiding the look Kankuro was giving him. He was afraid he would find pity shining in the black eyes.

"How long have they been doing that?" the brunette asked in a worried voice.

"For about over a year now," the blond answered truthfully, looking down again. He was ashamed that he had let the bullying continue for so long but he didn't know what he could do to stop it. It was always him alone against three to six bullies. He was quite sure that if only he could talk to Kiba, everything could be settled. But that never happened, for Kiba was keen to let his fists talk whenever Naruto was around.

Kankuro nodded in understanding. He wished there could be something comforting he could say to the boy but instead, he found nothing to say. He alone couldn't stop the bullying, neither could Naruto and he wasn't sure what could be done.

"Have you told anyone?" Kankuro asked.

"…No," Naruto said uneasily. He didn't want to tell anyone, it was bad enough that Kankuro knew now. There just wasn't anything anyone could do, the blond was sure of it.

"Maybe you should," the brunette replied, looking at the boy in a serious manner.

"I don't think I should, I can handle it," Naruto said, feeling very uncomfortable. He felt ashamed because the brunette had found out one of his weaknesses. He felt so weak and pitiful, and he hated that.

"But what if someday, you can't?" Kankuro asked. He hadn't much experience about bullying but he knew that it was often bound to get worse. Once again, he was worried about his friend.

"Let's change the subject," Naruto said, looking away.

Kankuro couldn't see the blond's blue eyes but he was sure that the familiar sadness lingered in them, again. "Alright, but you can always talk to me about it. I wish I could help," the brunette said, feeling helpless.

"Thanks," Naruto muttered but didn't meet the older man's eyes. "You did enough today, thanks for that."

"It was nothing. Any friend would've done that," Kankuro replied, staring at the boy.

At the words, Naruto turned to see the brunette. The blond was thankful that he had someone as nice as a friend.

"Where would you like to go?" Kankuro asked, as the silence between them continued until it started to feel awkward. He wasn't sure what he should do now, or what he should say. Maybe if they went somewhere it would make Naruto feel less sad.

Unsurely, Naruto took out his green frog purse from the pocket of his bag and counted the coins. He fiddled with the coins for a moment and then put the frog purse back into the bag. The truth was, he didn't have much money to go to anywhere but he didn't want to say that. He was afraid Kankuro would offer to pay for them and Naruto was sure that, for the time being, the brunette would get tired of always paying for the both of them.

"Would you like to go to the museum?" Kankuro asked, when the boy didn't say anything. Naruto seemed to be in his own little world, and the brunette was sure it had to do with the recent bullying. "There's now an exhibition about Konoha's most famous photographers. Well there aren't more than three people that are famous but still, the exhibition could be something worth to see," Kankuro tried to encourage the boy.

"I don't get art," Naruto made an excuse. The truth was he didn't have the spare money. He looked away for a moment, thinking. Then, he turned his blue eyes to the brunette. "Could we go to my place?" Right now, he didn't want anything more than to calm down and take a hot shower to relax himself from the unpleasant tension.

"To your place?" Kankuro repeated, his eyebrows rising. "What would we be doing there?"

"I'll make tea for us. And I have some instant noodles," Naruto replied. He knew he didn't have much to offer but it was better than nothing.

"Oh… Alright," Kankuro accepted. He didn't find the boy's home very cozy or inviting but since Naruto wanted to go there, who was he to say no.

They took the next bus to Meadowville, the district where Naruto lived in. Meadowville was a little larger district than Blueberry Hill and had more population. The area didn't have only apartment buildings but a few cafés, grocery shops, hairdressers and a library, which was located right next to the orphanage.

Naruto led them to his apartment, and being polite, let Kankuro enter first.

"Well, home sweet home," Naruto sighed as he closed the door behind him and turned on the lonely light bulb that hung from the roof. They took off their shoes and put their jackets on the rack.

Kankuro didn't know where to settle so he remained standing near the door. Naruto noticed this and spoke with amusement in his voice, "You can sit down on the bed, it's made and all. But I have to warn you, my mattress isn't as soft as yours."

Nodding, the brunette walked the short distance to the bed and did as he was told. Now that it was past six o'clock in the evening and the sun had almost set, it was dark in this little apartment, too. The dark brown walls seemed to absorb the little amount of light that the bulb shone around.

"I'll go to the shower now, if you don't mind," Naruto said, breaking the silence. God how he wanted hot water to caress his skin and body and to take his worries down to the drain.

"Alright, I can make some tea for us in the meanwhile," Kankuro offered, wishing he wouldn't have to just sit still and wait while the boy was taking a shower.

"If you want to, it's fine to me," Naruto said, smiling a little. Then, he went into the little bathroom and closed the door behind him.

Taking off his clothes, Naruto watched himself in the small mirror on the wall. His cheek was swollen and it hurt, and the more closely he looked, the more it seemed that a little bruise was already forming on the surface. Sighing, Naruto stepped under the shower and turned it on. In a second, warm water embraced him, and it felt so good.

'_Now I let the sad happenings of today slide off of me, down to the drain,' Naruto_ thought, and it was like a mantra he repeated in his head. Slowly but steadily, he felt his tension go off, and he was overcome by a peaceful state. He spent a few more minutes than necessary under the hot shower, making sure that he felt overall better now than before.

He dried himself on a brown towel that was quite soft. However, it couldn't compare to the towel he had used at Kankuro's place. Clean and dry, he changed into new underwear he had brought with him. The dirty clothes he dropped into the hamper. Just to be sure, he sprayed some deodorant on himself: he wanted to smell fresh. When he was all dressed up, he opened the bathroom door, letting all the steam out. Even the little bathroom mirror was fogged thanks to the steam, and Naruto was happy, for now he didn't have to see his swollen cheek.

"The tea is soon brewed," Kankuro informed Naruto, as the blond exited the bathroom. When the boy came to stand next to him, to see what kind of tea he was brewing, Kankuro could smell a strong scent of cedar. It was a rather good scent, and Kankuro inhaled a little more deeply than he intended to. It was a manly scent, yes but he somehow liked it very much.

"So you chose tea with a blackcurrant flavor?" Naruto stated, smiling a little. It was his favorite, and he thought it was funny how the brunette had picked just this flavor out of many others.

"Yeah, I thought it would be good. I haven't tasted it before," Kankuro replied, giving a small smile of his own.

They drank tea and chatted in the dim lighting of the room. It was almost pitch-dark now outside, the sun had set long ago, and the faint glimmer of streetlamps shimmered into the apartment. Naruto was talking animatedly, a big grin on his face, and Kankuro couldn't help but feel relieved that the blond was back to his cheerful self, not haunted by the bullying so much anymore.

"What are you going to do tomorrow?" Naruto asked, his blue eyes bright and friendly.

Tomorrow was Saturday and Kankuro hadn't planned on doing anything. Maybe he would go to visit Gaara, or invite the redhead over to his place. "Why do you ask?" the brunette questioned.

"Oh…" Naruto looked down. "It's nothing. I just… I just kind of…" he trailed off. "I have a birthday tomorrow," he finally sputtered out, still looking away.

"Your birthday? So you'll turn 17?" Kankuro was surprised.

"Yeah," Naruto only said. He had one more year of high school left, and hopefully after that, the bullies would be out of his life.

"Well how would you like to celebrate it?" Kankuro asked, feeling that he would have to be with the blond, since Naruto didn't seem to have any other plans.

Blue eyes turned to see Kankuro and slowly, a friendly smile appeared on the whiskered face. "You want to hang out with me tomorrow?" Naruto asked, having his hopes up.

"Yeah… Why not?" Kankuro reasoned, scratching the back of his head. He hadn't many plans for Saturday anyway and it was rather pleasant to hang out with the boy. Now that he knew that Naruto was being bullied, he felt even more sympathy for him than before. It really strengthened the bond between them, at least on Kankuro's part.

"Thanks!" Naruto said, his eyes turning into thin slits as he grinned. To know that the brunette would be there to celebrate his birthday with him made him very happy. He had spent his previous birthdays with the people of the orphanage, and he was glad that this year, there would be a change. It was not that he disliked them, he just wanted some excitement and fun for a change. And he felt somewhat drawn to Kankuro, after all.

Kankuro looked at the boy, and then an idea hit him. "And because tomorrow is your birthday, I think I'll have a surprise for you!" It wasn't going to be anything that would send shock waves through the world but it would be better than nothing. He didn't have a gift for the boy, and now it was too late to get one.

"A surprise?" Naruto asked, baffled. Kankuro had a surprise for him, so soon? "What kind of surprise would it be?"

"You'll see tomorrow," the brunette promised, smiling mysteriously. He wasn't going to reveal anything yet.

"Argh, you keep me in tension!" Naruto said in a happy way. In reality, he wasn't exasperated at all because he didn't know what would wait for him tomorrow. He felt really lucky that he had made a friend like Kankuro.

They chatted some more until the evening grew late. When Kankuro absentmindedly glanced at the clock on the wall and noticed it was 20:27 already, his eyes grew wider and he said, "Oh, it's so late already. I better get going." He wasn't sure on what time the blond usually got to bed but he felt like people of that age did it around nine.

"So soon?" Naruto asked, surprised, too. Time had flown nicely in good company.

"Soon? I've been here for two hours or more," Kankuro corrected, looking disbelievingly at the boy.

"Time flew fast," was all the blond said, as he looked at Kankuro putting on his shoes and jacket. Then, the brunette took his black bag from the floor.

"It sure did. See you tomorrow. I'll call you in the morning," Kankuro promised. Then, he bid goodnight to the blond and left.

Now with the brunette gone, Naruto sat down onto the bed. It sure had been forever since he had felt this good in this apartment. But now that Kankuro wasn't here anymore, Naruto's happy feeling was slowly fading, as if loneliness was stealing it away. This wasn't new to him, he knew what loneliness was capable of.

Sighing, Naruto got up from the bed and turned off the light near the door. The room didn't drown in complete darkness, thanks to the faint shimmer of streetlamps. Easily, the blond found his way through the crepuscular room and lied down on the bed. He didn't even bother changing his clothes. He would try to sleep now, for he hadn't anything else to do. And by sleeping, tomorrow would come sooner.

He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, as if he was able to catch Kankuro's pleasant scent of musk that surely still lingered in the room. At lonely moments like this, it was always hard to catch sleep. It usually took Naruto a long time before he was finally asleep and that's why, he often overslept in the mornings. But because the pleasantness of Kankuro's visit still floated in the air, the blond was now calmer and more relaxed and it created a better ground for a deep sleep. The final thoughts slipped away from Naruto's consciousness and he fell into the world of dreams.

**-o-o-o-**

With a jolt, Naruto woke up, eyes wide. There were cold drops of perspiration on his forehead and he shivered. Also, the bed sheets were slightly damp from sweat.

With fright, Naruto's head snapped into the direction where he was sure he'd seen movement just mere seconds ago. However, there was nothing there, just shadows and darkness. He stared keenly at the spot, as if forcing himself to see something that wasn't there.

Letting out a cautious breath, Naruto momentarily closed his eyes, only to open them again soon after. Everything was alright now. It had been just another nightmare.

Always after these nightmares, Naruto's senses were extremely sharp. He could now clearly smell the musk from before but his own sweat, too. And somewhere in the middle, a scent of cedar wafted into his nose. The nightmares always made him jumpy and frightened. He hated that he had to wake up from them alone. There was never anyone by his side, no one who would comfort him.

Running a shaky hand through his messy hair, Naruto got up from the bed. The only sounds he heard were the tick of the clock and his own heart beating. In the bathroom, he sprayed some deodorant on himself, to cover the scent of perspiration. In the mirror he saw his own image, pale and gaunt. He flapped his palms against his cheeks, to make color appear on his skin.

But the color didn't turn up and the image in the mirror stared back at him, gloomy and dull. His blue eyes didn't shine, they just stared, empty and hollow.

Lowering his gaze, Naruto walked out of the bathroom. He glanced at the clock and decided that it wasn't too late yet. This loneliness, cheerlessness and darkness that lingered in this apartment were too much for Naruto at the moment. They were too harsh a contrast in compared to the happy and tingling feeling he had had when Kankuro had been around. Everything had been so wonderful with the brunette here. Now, there was just a dull ache of loneliness.

This ache was too familiar to Naruto. He knew it could overpower him and eventually drown him into a horrible sea of desperation. Sometimes he wondered why he wasn't in the convulsions of depression already, for the life he lead really offered good circumstances for that. But there was always something positive he saw in the situations he was in, and that kept him from drowning. His in-born optimism and his ability to see the silver lining in most things were his salvation.

But now, none of that seemed to help him. He was sad, and the thoughts that he usually could rather easily brush off were now glued to his mind, unable to be exorcized. He stared out of his little window, into the night. He concentrated on the streetlamps, and how they illuminated their immediate surroundings. Kankuro was like that light to him, Naruto decided then. The brunette was what kept the darkness at bay, even if it was for short moments at time. Of course the blond fought the blackness himself, too but it was different. His own self-made fake happiness sometimes got him out of sad thoughts but it was just that, fake. Kankuro brought him real happiness.

Making up his mind, Naruto turned away from the window and went to the drawer. He rummaged through one chest for a moment, until he found a black long-sleeved shirt. He normally didn't wear shirts of that color but now, things weren't what he considered normal. He discarded himself of his sweaty orange shirt and threw it onto the bed, then put on the black shirt. Oh how the color matched his feelings at the moment. And the shirt suited his black jeans nicely, too. He ran a comb through his yellow spiky hair, and put the thing then in his back pocket. From the rack, he grabbed his blue jacket and put it on, knowing he would be greeted with a chilly night air the moment he opened the door. He also took a little flashlight from the kitchenette cupboard and put it into his pocket. Finally, he picked up his bag from the floor and left.

The walk to the bus stop wasn't long but the coldness of the air made Naruto shiver. He remembered that the bus 67 drove around the route between Blueberry Hill and Meadowville, and so he waited for the bus to come.

Once on the bus, Naruto stared out of the window, careful at not glancing at his own reflection in the glass. He wondered if what he was doing was sheer madness. A tiny voice in his mind told him that he was being impudent and crazy but he tried to smother the voice. He needed company, he needed it in order to get rid of the saddening thoughts that were planted into his head. His sad mood had started when the bullies had taken him as their prey again but in Kankuro's presence, he had been momentarily able to let go of the sadness. The nightmare, however, had brought the sad thoughts back into his head again, reinforcing the lugubriousness.

At the familiar stop, he got off and started to walk to the direction of Kankuro's house. When the blacktopping of the road ended, it was also the end of the streetlights. Taking out the little flashlight from his pocket, he turned it on so that he could see where he was walking.

At the brunette's door, Naruto put his hand on the doorbell's button. Should he really do it? Was this sheer craziness? His body seemed to have the mind of its own, however, because before Naruto could even realize, his finger had pushed the button. Well, there was no going back now.

After half a minute (Naruto really counted the seconds) the door opened, revealing a sleepy looking Kankuro. His brown hair wasn't stylishly messy anymore, it was just messy, and there was no kohl in his eyes. Also, the brunette was wearing something that the blond thought was his nightclothes.

"Naruto? What are you doing here?" Kankuro asked, baffled. He blinked his eyes, sleepily.

"Uh… I…" Naruto found it hard to explain why he indeed was here, at this ungodly hour. What could he say without sounding pitiful? This whole situation felt now awkward, and the blond hadn't foreseen that coming.

"Come on in," Kankuro said finally, when no intelligible answer came from the blond. Just moments ago, he had been finally asleep, after a few nights of insomnia. Now he was more than baffled at why Naruto was at his door at this time of the night, dressed in dark colors and looking miserable.

Naruto followed the brunette inside and closed the door behind him. It was dark in the house otherwise but near the bed, a little lamp on the wall was turned on. It cast rather pleasant shadows to the room. Those shadows weren't gloomy like the ones at his home, Naruto decided. From between the curtains, a light from the moon shone in. Overall, the dim atmosphere in the room was very comfortable in Naruto's opinion.

Kankuro ran a hand over his face. A glance at the clock told it was around midnight. "Is there something wrong, Naruto?" he then asked with worry in his voice, his attention back on the blond again.

Naruto was standing near the sink, having his jacket and shoes still on, staring down to his feet. At home and on the bus he hadn't really thought what he would explain to Kankuro, he had just concentrated on his burning need of company. He had really been thinking only how good and nice it would feel around the brunette but now that he was here, the words didn't come easily.

"I just… I had a nightmare and then… I was feeling very sad and I couldn't brush it off," Naruto finally explained in a quiet voice, not meeting the brunette's eyes. He was afraid he would angry the older man because he was now here, intruding everything.

Kankuro evaluated the blond for a moment and took in the submissive tone of voice the boy had used. The blond's hands were limply hanging on his sides, and the usual cheerful and energetic aura didn't radiate from the boy at the moment.

"I'm sorry for coming here. I didn't know where else to go," Naruto continued suddenly, using the same acquiescent voice as before.

"Hey," Kankuro began, "It's alright," even though he wasn't sure if it was. But he couldn't say something like that, that wouldn't comfort the saddened blond at all. He was very poor at consoling people but he had to try. He tried to come up with something that would make Naruto feel better. "Would you like to have hot cocoa?"

"Huh?" Naruto asked a little baffled. He turned his gaze to the black eyes that held a gentle look. "Okay," he finally replied.

Glad that the boy had accepted, Kankuro set himself into preparing the hot drink. To him, it was easier to show his care for people indirectly, through little things and gestures, than directly through words. Silence fell over them, and Naruto remained rooted to the spot, near the sink. Kankuro evaluated him from the corner of his eye, and when the boy didn't even quiver a muscle, he spoke. "You can take off your shoes and the jacket."

"Oh," Naruto seemed to wake up from his trance-like state. Absentmindedly, he did as he was told but remained to stand where he had been standing earlier, near the sink. He didn't dare to sit down onto the bed now that it was unmade.

"Naruto," Kankuro began, putting the cocoa into the microwave oven. "What was the nightmare about?" He knew it was risky to ask but he felt that if he knew what the dream had been about, he could comfort the boy better.

"I don't want to talk about it," Naruto said after some consideration. He didn't want to tell what things in particular made him this sad. He didn't want to appear pitiful.

"I understand," Kankuro said, accepting his defeat. He tried to imagine what people usually asked or talked in situations like these. Forcing his brain to think, Kankuro really tried hard to come up with something intelligent to say. "How do you feel now?" was all he could think of.

Naruto turned to look at the brunette and to Kankuro, the blue eyes looked duller than usual. It worried the brunette but he didn't know how he should show his concern. It was then the microwave oven beeped and Kankuro took the mug of cocoa out of it. He stirred the drink with a spoon and then stepped closer to the boy, draping the mug towards him. "Here you are."

"Thanks," Naruto said quietly, accepting the gesture of kindness. Then, he remembered what the brunette had asked and answered, "I'm feeling better, I guess." And it was true: the lugubriousness was slowly but steadily dissolving, now that he was with the brunette, who was being friendly to him again.

"That's nice to hear," Kankuro said, leaning on the worksurface of the kitchenette. Then, he couldn't think of anything to say so he chose to stay quiet, even though it wasn't the best option in his opinion.

"Kankuro…" Naruto began, lowering the mug from his lips. "I was wondering if it was possible in any way, that I… that I could spend the night here." When he saw the brunette's eyes widen, he hastily continued, "I mean I could sleep on the floor! I can sleep in the hall next to the shoes, I don't care!"

"Naruto…" Kankuro said, looking unsurely at the boy.

"Let me stay!" the blond pleaded, hating how pitiful he was. But the truth was he didn't want to go back home, not when everything there reminded him of sad times.

"Well…" Kankuro hesitated, not sure if he should give in now. "I can't let you sleep on the floor…" And it was true. The brunette didn't fancy the idea of sleeping on the floor himself but he couldn't let Naruto do it. That would be just plain rude, to treat a guest like that. No matter if the said guest had invited himself over, without asking for permission…

"No, I won't accept it!" Naruto denied, his voice firm and serious. There was determination shining in the blue eyes. He wasn't going to back up now. "It's me who's going to sleep on the floor."

"But—" Kankuro began.

"No, no buts. Please, it's already too kind to let me stay, so it's only fair that I sleep on the floor, so that you can take the bed," Naruto reasoned. He really didn't see himself deserving anything better. The bullying had really crumbled his self-respect.

"I don't know…" Kankuro hesitated, scratching his messy hair. He was debating in his mind what would be the right thing to do. Naruto sounded so submissive and pleading that Kankuro couldn't help but think if something more had happened than just a nightmare. Or was it that the blond just had an unhealthily low self-respect?

"I'm sorry," Naruto said suddenly, putting the now empty mug to the sink. "I shouldn't have come here in the first place."

"It was alright that you came," Kankuro said, even though he wasn't so sure at all. After that, he yawned involuntarily. He couldn't help it: he was just so tired for all the sleepless nights. He didn't want anything more than to continue sleeping in his own comfortable bed but it wasn't so simple. He didn't want to appear as a selfish host and let the boy sleep on the floor.

Naruto stared into the distance, thinking what to say. In a way, he had a solution to the problem of sleeping arrangements but he couldn't say it aloud. The solution was that they would share the bed, sleep next to each other but Naruto just knew that it could never happen. It would be too good to be true, ever. His excuse to why they could do it was that they were both guys, they could share a bed and be cool about it. Carefully, Naruto hid the fact that he was gay and that he couldn't look the situation in a calm way.

As he saw Kankuro yawn again, he spoke, "Look, we should go to sleep now. You're obviously tired."

"I guess you're right," Kankuro said, taking the spare blanket that was folded on the floor next to the bed. He was about to settle down on the floor when Naruto took hold of the blanket.

"No, you're going to the bed. I'll sleep on the floor," the blond said, determined. He held the cover tightly, not intending to let go and let the matter be.

Slowly, Kankuro loosened his hold on the blanket, a studying yet defeated look in his eyes. As he saw Naruto sit on the floor and spread the rug over himself, Kankuro thought that the problem was solved now, even though he wasn't happy with the solution. Lying down onto the bed, the brunette turned to look at the blond who had leant his head on the drawer. "Good night," Kankuro said.

"Sleep well," Naruto responded, happy that he had gotten his way. At the moment, sleeping on Kankuro's floor felt a hundred times more comfortable than being home, alone, on his lumpy mattress.

The brunette turned off the little lamp on the wall, letting the night fall over them.

It didn't take long for Kankuro to fall asleep, whereas Naruto stayed awake a little longer. But in the comfortable atmosphere, the blue-eyed blond soon drifted off to sleep, too.

**-o-o-o-**

For the second time that night, Naruto woke up. He had experienced an unpleasant dream which however couldn't be labeled as a nightmare. But the revolting feelings didn't leave him even though the dream was now dissolved. This wasn't new to him. He was used to be woken up by the nightly images but he just hadn't believed that he would dream of something unpleasant in Kankuro's presence.

Talking about the brunette, Naruto could make out at the twilight that Kankuro was fast asleep, his even breathing audible in the otherwise silent room. Even though it was dark, Naruto could easily see how peaceful the man looked like, as if nothing in the world worried him.

Gulping, Naruto discarded himself of the blanket and as quietly as possible, stood up. He was feeling sad again thanks to the dream even though he tried his best to chase away the thoughts. The familiar hollowness was gnawing at his soul, making him feel empty, meaningless and unlovable. In some days, he believed that he really was those things. This hollowness that lived inside of him was like a monster and it got more powerful whenever Naruto was feeling down. It was like his personal beast, a demon that had been planted inside of him since birth.

This hollowness made him feel unworthy. It made him believe that he deserved all the bullying and name-calling. And what was the worst, it made him feel like he didn't deserve to be loved, much less than appreciated, for who he was. Often he felt like he was only an empty shell, in danger of breaking. So, Naruto often did whatever he could to drive away this empty and destructive feeling, knowing that if it overpowered him, he could drown into the black sea of depression.

As he took the first step towards the bed, he knew that what he was doing was nothing but plain madness. But the dull ache inside of him pushed him forward, and so he was now standing next to the bed, staring at the sleeping brunette. Naruto had never been good at avoiding trouble or danger. Gulping again, he lied down onto the mattress, feeling it sink beneath his weight. A quick glance at Kankuro's face told him that the brunette was still sleeping. Relieved, Naruto took a comfortable position and let the man's body warmth radiate into his cold soul.

Kankuro looked so peaceful, so handsome. The brunette's deep breathing calmed Naruto down, and now that he could feel connected to another human being, however weak that bond was, he could feel his shattered soul slowly beginning to repair itself. It was like Kankuro filled him with warm feelings, filling up the hollowness.

Some slurred words escaped the brunette's lips and for a moment Naruto was afraid that the man would wake up. But that didn't seem to happen, to his luck. Sighing in relief, Naruto remained looking at the closed eyes. What it would be like if someday Kankuro would return his feelings? What would it be like to someday be loved and held closely? What would it feel like to have mutual warm feelings with somebody? With Kankuro?

Not letting his pessimistic side to remind him that this Kankuro here could be and probably was a hetero, Naruto kept on thinking. He looked at the brunette's hand that lied on the pillow next to his face, and wondered what it would feel like to be held in those strong arms. To be protected from the ever-present loneliness. To be loved by this beautiful brunette.

Naruto yawned, he was still tired. But he wouldn't let himself sleep, not when he was on the bed where he wasn't expected to be. If Kankuro woke up only to find Naruto lying next to him, he would surely be scared, confused. And Naruto didn't want to scare the brunette away, not when they had just met and befriended. Yawning again, Naruto felt his eyelids grow heavier. He closed his eyes momentarily, just to rest them. He wouldn't let himself sleep.

It was then that Kankuro spoke in his sleep again, draping his arm forward, accidentally making his hand rest on Naruto's upper arm. From there, it slid lower to Naruto's waist and remained there. The blond was frightened that the man would wake up but when nothing else happened in many long moments, he was quite sure that the danger was over. The spot where the brunette's warm hand touched Naruto, felt like on fire. The touch was burning and it was melting away the hollowness, and Naruto was sure he was blushing in the darkness. His eyelids became even heavier, and when his eyes were closed, he could even see some pre-dreams already.

Trying to break free from the drowsy state, Naruto only succeeded in tiring himself more. No, he couldn't let himself sleep! He needed to get to the floor so that he wouldn't get caught. But as he let his eyes close again momentarily, another pre-dream came over and without him realizing it, it turned into a full dream and he fell asleep.

**-o-o-o-**

**A/N:** _I drew a picture about this chapter. See my profile for link._


	4. Confusion

**-o-o-o- ****Blueberry Hill ****-o-o-o-**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own 'Naruto' and I don't make any money from these writings.

**A/N: **_Thanks for all the reviews, favs and alerts! They mean a world to me, really!_

**-o-o-o-**

**Chapter 4: Confusion**

**-o-o-o-**

Slowly, the dream Kankuro was seeing dissolved away, leaving him in some semi-awakened state. He was still drowsy and he kept his eyes closed, when he suddenly realized that he was very close to somebody who was so warm. This didn't alert him when an image of his ex-girlfriend popped into his mind. Dreamily, he started to trace his hand over the warm body, sleepily wondering how un-womanly it felt. Then his hand traced along something that was hard and long, reminding him of a man and a shot of pleasure went down to his loins, really waking him from his semi-sleepy state.

"Huh?" Kankuro let out a silent gasp, his eyes blinking fully open. He could only see a yellow mop of hair in the morning's scarce light and blinking again, he realized that his hand was still lying on… on _Naruto's_ morning erection!

Gasping, Kankuro pulled his hand away as if he'd been burnt, inching away from the blond. The weird feeling in his loins was still present and it took him a second to realize that he was having a hard-on, too. Without even realizing it, he was climbing off of the bed, careful at not waking up the clueless blond. He had to get away, he needed to get over this shock. And the bathroom was the farthest he could go.

Locking the door behind him, Kankuro leant against the cool tiles. He wasn't sure what had disturbed him the most: that he had found Naruto sleeping next to him, that he had accidentally touched the blond's morning erection or that he was _turned on_ because of that. He glanced down, looking at his stubborn erection that didn't seem to want to go down.

Deciding that a cold shower would both take care of his little problem and clear his thoughts, Kankuro started to pull off his clothes. He accidentally looked in the mirror and saw that his cheeks were tinted with pink. That was so unlike him, he rarely blushed.

In the shower, he turned on the water that was warm at first. He meant to turn the water colder progressively but when he took hold of his now painful erection, a surge of unexpected feelings flooded over him. It felt so good, just a mere touch, when only yesterday morning, he had felt nothing at all. He had to bite his lip in order not to moan. Slowly, without him even realizing it at first, his hand started to stroke the length of his erection. When had it felt this good the last time? He couldn't quite remember.

"Haa…" he sighed quietly, knowing that the soundproofing of the bathroom was poor and that he would wake up Naruto if he kept on moaning louder. A surge of emotion washed over him as he remembered how it had felt to touch another man's erection. Why was that affecting him so much now? He hadn't felt anything even remotely like this linked to another male, excluding the time when he had felt some weird attraction to his classmate when he had been 14._ 'But it was just my hormones making me crazy,'_ Kankuro thought, pushing the incident out of his mind. He had always been attracted to women, why was he suddenly thinking like this?

'_It's because this is new and exciting… and confusing,'_ Kankuro thought, his hand moving faster now. He didn't think of Naruto, he couldn't because the boy was just a kid and he wasn't a pedophile for god's sake. He just concentrated on how the erection had felt on his hand, not on _whose_ it had been. Besides, he didn't feel anything for Naruto, how could he? The boy was a guy, for the love of god, and Kankuro knew that he himself didn't do guys.

Even then, masturbation hadn't felt this good and exciting for ages. Some images of men popped into Kankuro's mind and he tried to drive them away, without succeeding. It felt weird to get turned on by the same sex. Eventually, he gave in to the lecherous thoughts, for he wanted so desperately to feel this alive, feel this fertile. It was as if he was his former self again, libidinous and easily turned-on, with the exception that he was now getting off on the images of males.

"Oh god…" Kankuro sighed as he finally came hard. Even his knees felt weak but he didn't let him collapse on the floor. The water was running over him, caressing him with its warmness, and for a fleeting second, Kankuro felt truly happy and relieved. Maybe his sexual appetite had gotten back to normal, finally?

But the happiness wasn't long-lived as he remembered that Naruto was still there in this house, on his bed. It made Kankuro think what had driven the blond next to him. Maybe the kid had felt uncomfortable on the floor, and thought that it was okay to share a bed. They were both guys after all, so Kankuro wasn't sure if Naruto's decision was that unforgivable.

But what made the brunette feel very uneasy was that he had just jerked off when the boy was in this house, too, no matter that the blond was asleep. And what made him blush was that he had used the memory of Naruto's erection as a jack-off-material. How on earth could he be around the blond anymore, after this? How could he look the boy in the eyes again, he didn't know.

After he had cleaned himself, he turned off the water. Getting off of the shower, Kankuro started to dry himself on a purple towel. His hair was still a bit wet but he couldn't use the hairdryer in fear of waking up the boy. After he had put on his clothes again, he exited the bathroom.

Naruto was still asleep, he even snored a bit, and that relieved Kankuro. He would have some time to think about what had just happened. He looked at the clock and it was not more than 5:58. Taking his jeans and hoodie out of the closet, Kankuro went to the bathroom to change into them. In the hallway, he put on his shoes and his black jacket. From the top of the drawer, he took his keys and after one glance at the sleeping blond, he left the house.

Outside, Kankuro felt his thoughts had a better chance at clearing up than in his little house.

He hadn't any particular place in his mind. He just started walking down the footpath, wondering where his feet would take him. It was chilly at this time of the day but gladly it didn't rain. It was still crepuscular but the faint dawn of the sun could be seen through the tree trunks in the horizon.

Kankuro was still very ashamed that he had let himself masturbate on the particular tactile memory. He honestly wasn't sure how he could face the blond after all this, without blushing and acting weird. Of course the boy would be clueless and in a way, Kankuro was happy about that. This was embarrassing enough without Naruto knowing about it.

It disturbed him that he had gotten off with thinking about males. It was so unlike him. But for the last year or so it had been difficult for him to get turned on by normal things, like breasts. There was just nothing exciting in them anymore, in his opinion. But to think about male anatomy, that was new and even now, it made him feel quite excited mentally. He hated the problems in his sexuality, impotence, which made him feel castrated. But now that he had found something that turned him on again he was reluctant to let it go. Sexual arousal was just something that made him feel happy and capable.

Deep down, he knew that even though he felt disturbed now, he wouldn't stop jerking off on the newfound mental images. Maybe this was just a temporary phase, meant to go away after some time? After that phase, he would surely feel normal again and find interest in the female body. Yeah, maybe this was a part of the healing process? He didn't even want to think about any other option.

And what he certainly didn't want to think about was that he could maybe, probably be a little gay. Because he wasn't! He was a relatively happy heterosexual and he didn't want that to change. He didn't have anything against gay people but he didn't want to be one, either. Some people already thought he was a little gay because he worked on a branch dominated by women, and that alone was enough for him. Besides, even though he now had a growing urge to_ feel_ a male body, to touch it, it didn't make him gay. He was just curious, that's all.

And Naruto, he certainly didn't feel anything towards the blond. Sure he felt sympathy, now that he knew what the story behind the bruises was but there was nothing else. The idea that Naruto had slept next to him wasn't totally disgusting for him, it actually felt kind of interesting. But it was just because Naruto was male and Kankuro was curious. This had nothing to do with the blond's personality. Not that Kankuro disliked Naruto's personality, that wasn't the case at all. He found the blond very cheerful and nice to have around, and he could say he enjoyed being around the boy. But he didn't have any romantic feelings for Naruto and he never could have. Their age difference was too much. Besides, Kankuro didn't do guys.

A tiny voice in the back of his mind whispered to him that Naruto would turn 17 today and wouldn't be a brat anymore but Kankuro tried his best not to listen to it. Sure it would feel easier and less suspicious to be around Naruto now that he was only a year away of being a legal adult but still, Kankuro would get older too: their age difference wouldn't lessen.

Thinking about the blond and his birthday, Kankuro remembered that he had promised to spend this day with the blond. He had even that surprise for him. Great, he would be glued to the boy for the rest of the day, after the embarrassing and confusing events. Thank god Naruto was clueless. He would also have to face the blond sooner or later. Kankuro knew that if he could get out of this without seeing the boy again, he would use that option. It felt cruel but he was so confused and embarrassed that he would rather forget all about this, forget the blond. But he couldn't and it made his heart sink.

…But maybe, if he tried hard enough to push the happenings of this morning into the depths of his mind, he could face the blond with a deadpan, without raising any suspicions. Still, all the confusing feelings would continue to quiver just beneath the surface, and Kankuro wasn't sure what he could do to them. He feared that they would erupt in some embarrassing way, in Naruto's presence.

**-o-o-o-**

It was a pleasant dream this time, from which Naruto woke up. He blinked lazily, taking in the natural light that was flooding into the room from between the curtains. Yawning, he blinked again and it was then when his brain registered just _where_ he was lying.

'_Oh no!'_ Naruto thought hectically, turning around to see that there was no one beside him. He sat up, listening very carefully but everything was silent, almost eerily so. _'Hell,' _Naruto thought to himself, biting his lip. How could he have been so_ stupid_ as to fall asleep when he had so furiously tried to stay awake! And now Kankuro was probably freaked out because he had found Naruto sleeping next to him. How great was that?

Sighing, Naruto got off the bed and walked to where the bathroom was. The door was slightly ajar. "Kankuro?" he called while knocking at the door. Silence was his only answer. "Are you there?" he called again, getting nervous. When no reply came, he simply stated "I'm coming in," and opened the door.

But there was no one there in the bathroom. It meant that Naruto was alone in the house, and it made him very uneasy. It was obvious that the brunette had fled and the blond couldn't blame him. Wondering how on earth he was going to explain Kankuro just why he had decided to invade the bed in the middle of the night, Naruto stepped into the bathroom and locked the door behind him.

After he had relieved himself from the unpleasant pressure in his bladder, he exited the small bathroom. He decided that he would make the bed, before he would leave. He was sure that he had freaked out the brunette so much that he didn't want to see him after this. Naruto sighed. He would have to spend another birthday with the people of the orphanage, after all.

Naruto felt anxiety because he couldn't be sure what Kankuro was currently thinking, where ever he was. What if it really had been unforgivable to share a bed with the brunette? What if Kankuro would come home, bringing news that their friendship was over? A cold shiver ran down Naruto's spine. He didn't want that to happen!

'_Things won't turn out that way,'_ the blond tried to assure himself, even though he partly didn't believe himself. So many of his earlier (so-called) friends had turned their backs on him, abandoned him when he had been in the direst of need for them, that he had learned to be on tiptoes with people. On his most pessimistic days, he believed that the people he'd just met would walk out of his life soon after, as soon as they realized what Naruto was like deep down. _'Greedy for human contact, selfish, clingy, pitiful…'_ Naruto made a list in his mind, until he noticed that he had fallen to a vicious circle of self-hate again.

'_No, in reality I'm optimistic, loving, loyal and trustworthy!'_ he soon corrected himself, really wanting to believe in those words. Fighting his own self was nothing new to him. His darker side always tried to poison his mind, trying to assure him that he was unworthy, that he was never going to be loved and so on. When he was all alone and when the shadows of the bullies were cast over him, it was easier to believe the venomous allegations. But now, he was in his friend's house, a friend's who had been kind and understanding for him when he had burst in last night. Kankuro was genuinely friendly and Naruto had never detected any hidden ulterior motives with him.

So, he shouldn't let his dark side poison his thinking now that the worst case scenario hadn't even happened yet. It was just his own insecurity and lack of trust that he feared Kankuro ending their budding friendship.

When he was straightening the pillow, the door clicked and in walked no other than Kankuro. For a second, their eyes met and they just stared at each other. Then, the brunette turned away and Naruto was sure he had seen some redness on the man's cheeks. _'Great,'_ Naruto thought, _'I've really made him uncomfortable.'_

"Look," the blond began, done with the pillow. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Kankuro said, surprising Naruto. "It must've been uncomfortable on the floor. And besides, we're both guys, we can be cool about it, right?" Even though he couldn't be cool about it, not when he had accidentally groped the sleeping blond.

"Uh… Okay" Naruto began, unsure what to say. Well, it was good that the brunette was seeing things this way, it made it all easier. "But… If you want to, I can go home." Still, Naruto couldn't believe that Kankuro would want to spend time with him today.

"What are you talking about?" Kankuro asked, raising his eyebrow. "Weren't we supposed to celebrate your birthday today?" It was true that he felt like being alone and thinking but he couldn't abandon the blond on his birthday. Just what kind of friend would do that?

"Oh," Naruto said, his eyes widening. "But I thought that…" he trailed off. Then, something seemed to change in him and a wide smile came to his lips. "Alright!"

"That's a good attitude," the brunette said, smiling. It was now 8:01 and Kankuro already had plans in his mind. "I think we should get going. My surprise requires us to go to the center of Konoha," he then said mysteriously.

"Oh, the surprise," Naruto remembered. He was so excited that he almost jumped up and down. "I can't wait to see what it is!"

To that, Kankuro only smiled softly, then concentrated on putting some kohl to his eyes. When he was done, it was time to stylish his now dry hair. Naruto still had the same clothes on as yesterday, so he didn't have to do anything else but put on his jacket and sneakers and he was ready to go.

They left the small house together. The sun was now higher in the sky than it had been in the early morning, and the tree trunks looked like golden in the bright light. There was some fog in the forest, and Kankuro explained to the blond that the haze had to do with a swamp that was nearby. To Naruto, it was all extraordinarily beautiful and he was more than happy to share the view with his friend.

"It was pretty chilly in the morning, it won't take long until the temperature drops under zero at nights," Kankuro chatted. As he lived in the forest, the nature and its changes were keenly observed by him. "There's a small pond deeper in the forest. I've made a skating rink there on winters. Do you have skates?" Kankuro asked, turning to see the blond that walked right next to him.

"No," Naruto told. When they ice-skated on P.E. lessons at school, he had always been able to borrow the school's skates.

"Well I guess I have to get you ones, then. We could go to skate on the pond, once it's frozen enough," Kankuro said with a kind look in his eyes.

"But you can't buy me skates! That would just be too kind of you!" Naruto said quickly, his big eyes wide and full of alert.

"Nonsense. One, they aren't that expensive and two, I have a job," Kankuro explained.

"It doesn't feel right," Naruto said in a small voice, ashamed that he was so poor.

"Consider it as a friend's gift, then," the brunette replied, giving a sideways glance to the blond.

"But if it's a gift, I want to give you a return gift. I don't want to be in debt," Naruto was stubborn as hereasoned. Being in debt to someone was one of the worst things he knew.

"Naruto," Kankuro said and stopped abruptly. "Just drop it. I'm going to buy you skates, case closed."

"But—"

"No buts. I knew you were stubborn but this is too much," the brunette was firm. He wondered if Naruto's orphanage had anything to do with the blond's reluctance to receive something without giving anything in return. "Besides, you've already given me something: your company. It's nice to be around you."

"Really? Well, thanks, I can say the same about you," Naruto said, not so alerted anymore. Just maybe he could now let the brunette buy the skates for him, maybe it would be okay.

They were now on the bus stop, and when the bus came, Kankuro paid for the both of them. Thanks to their earlier conversation, Naruto didn't dare to oppose. He knew he was stubborn but he didn't want to be impossible.

Once they were in the center, Kankuro started to lead them into a direction Naruto knew. In the horizon, a ramen bar was dimly visible.

"Is this the surprise, a ramen bar?" Naruto was excited. He hadn't had real ramen for ages, just instant noodles. He wondered how the brunette had known his love for ramen.

"No, but I guessed you'd be hungry at this time of the day. And given that you have that large poster of pork ramen on your wall, it wasn't too hard to draw conclusions about what your favorite food is," Kankuro said, smiling. His black eyes twinkled kindly.

"Oh, you guessed it right, I _looove_ ramen," Naruto laughed, picking up speed so that they would arrive sooner into the restaurant.

They ordered pork ramen (for Naruto) and seaweed ramen (for Kankuro), and two sodas. When their meals arrived, it was Naruto who right away started to hungrily wolf down the food. This amused Kankuro, who had a more moderate approach on the dish.

Thirstily, Naruto sucked the soda through the drinking straw, making some sounds.

To Kankuro, it was a bit confusing. On the other hand, he found the action funny but on the other hand, it made him aware of something he wouldn't rather think of. The idea of Naruto _sucking_ something made some dirty images pop into his mind, and Kankuro tried to dissolve them by looking down to his own bowl. Sure he had fantasized just this morning about how it would feel like if some other guy would suck him off, but he didn't want to be reminded of it now, in the innocent blond's presence.

No, he didn't want to involve Naruto into his dirty, unnatural fantasies! This was what he had feared: that his own feelings would drive him into a difficult, embarrassing situation. Naruto was just turning 17 and was still a kid, whereas Kankuro had been an adult for some time already.

Still staring down at his bowl, Kankuro felt his cheeks grow warm. Damn if he blushed!

"Sorry, I eat and drink like a pig," Naruto apologized, smiling. He had noticed that the brunette was a bit blushing, and the blond was sure that it was because of his poor table manners.

"No, it's okay," Kankuro muttered, his appetite suddenly gone. Some sort of fear was filling him, for he was afraid what would happen if he met the blond's blue eyes again. Would Naruto be somehow able to see his dirty thoughts? But Kankuro couldn't help the way he was feeling: thinking about men in a sexual way was new and arousing to him, and it seemed that his sex-hungry mind took every opportunity to remind him about that.

"Aren't you hungry anymore?" Naruto asked, as he noticed that the brunette had stopped eating. His own bowl was almost empty, but he would be still able to seconds.

"No, I don't eat much in the mornings," Kankuro told a white lie.

"Can I…?" the blond asked carefully, eyeing what was left of the brunette's meal.

"Go ahead," Kankuro said, pushing the half-full bowl into Naruto's direction. He was sure that the boy didn't eat enough, anyway, so it was good that the blond now ate.

"Thanks!" Naruto replied in a happy voice, already gobbling up the seaweed ramen. It wasn't as tasty as pork ramen but good nevertheless.

As the blond drank, he made more of those tormenting noises. Kankuro had to look away. He hated his mind right now and all the suggestions it dared to picture for him. What made him the most disgusted in himself was that he felt like he had betrayed Naruto's trust: the kid had trusted in Kankuro so much that the boy had dared to come sleep on the same bed with him. Surely Naruto would be shocked and disgusted if he found out what Kankuro had done and thought in the morning!

What kind of a friend he even was to the boy, Kankuro thought to himself. Shouldn't he be a role model, a safe adult? Instead, he had jacked off in the shower with some questionable images and a tactile memory. Shaking the guilt-awakening thoughts out of his mind, Kankuro tried to concentrate on what was happening at the moment. It didn't do good to dwell on in his own thoughts all the time.

"Thank you, it was a great meal. Or should I say meals, because I ate half of yours, too," Naruto said politely, wiping his mouth to the sleeve of his jacket.

"You're welcome," Kankuro said, cautiously meeting the blue eyes. But when the blond's expression didn't change, the brunette was relieved: there was no way after all that Naruto knew what he had been thinking.

"Now, I want to see what kind of a surprise you have for me!" Naruto said enthusiastically, smiling from ear to ear. He had been patient until this moment. Now he was getting more and more excited.

"Alright," Kankuro said, smiling a little. He led them out of the ramen bar.

They began walking into a direction Naruto had no clue about. Where was his friend taking him? An alley diverged from the main street they were walking, and the blond followed the brunette in there. "Um, Kankuro, where are we?" Naruto asked, as the brunette stopped suddenly in front of a door.

"Wait a moment and you'll see," Kankuro said, a little amused at the blond's impatience. He opened the door with a key, stepped inside and pushed some buttons of a device Naruto thought was an alarm system. When he was done, he stepped further inside. "You can follow me."

Naruto did as he was told, and ended up in a room that he imagined was a recreation room.

"You can put your bag and jacket on the chair," Kankuro said, doing just as he had said.

"Oh, okay," Naruto obeyed, not having a clue what sort of a surprise was waiting for him. When he had done as he was told, Kankuro led him through yet one door. Flipping on the lights, the brunette said, "Ta-da!"

Right before Naruto's eyes there was a parlor of a barber's shop. There were three black customer chairs, curved mirrors, purple walls and some fashion magazines.

"Oh, just wow," Naruto breathed. Everything was tidy and in place. "You work here?"

"Yeah, I'm a barber," Kankuro said, grinning a little. "And as for a birthday present, I'm going to give you a hair cutting," he then added, winking.

"Thank you! It has been ages since I last time had my hair shortened," Naruto said eagerly. He was a bit ashamed that his mop of hair was overgrown but he didn't have the money every month to go to a hairdresser's.

"I can see it," Kankuro said. "Please sit down," he gestured the boy to a chair which had a small tub behind it.

"But I thought you were going to cut my hair?" Naruto said with a questioning voice. Why would he have to go to the tub chair?

"I know but first I'm going to wash it," the brunette explained patiently.

"But my hair isn't unclean," the blond protested, "I washed it recently."

"Of course your hair isn't dirty," Kankuro said, "But it's easier to cut when it's wet. And believe me, you're going to like the washing."

"Oh, okay," Naruto gave in, sitting down onto the tub chair. He leaned his head backwards. From that angle of view, he noticed that the ceiling was purple, too. "Isn't it funny that the walls in here are purple, when the walls in your house are almost the same color?" Naruto asked. Just then, warm soft water started to wet his hair and the blond could feel how Kankuro massaged his head with one hand. It felt so good!

"It's not a coincidence: I've painted the walls," the brunette told, gently massaging the blond's sculp. When the hair was wet enough, he poured some shampoo to it.

So the massaging began again, and Naruto felt like he was in heaven. The strawberry scent of the shampoo wafted to Naruto's nose, and it smelled so good, too! "Why did you choose purple?"

"Purple and violet are the colors of a soul. They're also the colors of spiritualization and meditation. And I also associate them with love, too," Kankuro explained, feeling the boy's scalp. It was time to rinse the shampoo.

Naruto welcomed the sensation of warm water caressing his hair. Kankuro was being so gentle to him, so tender, and the blond felt his heart pound a bit faster because of this. He couldn't remember if anyone had ever been this loving to him. "But isn't red the color of love, or pink? I would never perceive purple as anything romantic," Naruto pointed out.

"Love isn't always as sweet as pink," Kankuro corrected. "And love isn't always romantic. Ask my ex-girlfriends, they will also tell you that love is violet," he then added with a sad undertone.

The sadness didn't go unnoticed by Naruto, who tried to cheer the brunette up. "Maybe it just means you haven't found 'The Right One' yet," he said. Deep inside, he was hurt that the charming brunette was most likely a hetero, who would never be even distantly interested in him. Maybe Kankuro was right, maybe love was really meant to be violet… Right after those thoughts, Naruto felt the brunette start spreading the conditioner with slow, massaging motions.

"Always remember the conditioner, by the way," Kankuro said in an educational voice, until he continued with a sadder tone, "I don't believe in 'The Right One' anymore. I think you just have to pick the less annoying person out of many others, and deal with it. Everyone has their flaws, you know, and you just have to choose the person who has the most tolerable flaws."

The speech made Naruto sad. Did someone really think like that? What had happened to this man here, to make him think like that? Warm water caressed the blond's hair again, to rinse away the conditioner. The water felt amazing but it didn't eat away the sadness Naruto felt for the brunette. "Man, that's sad," the blond said.

With a little towel, Kankuro patted the wet hair, to dry them. "Now I'm done for this part. You can move to sit in front of that mirror," Kankuro gestured, and the blond did as he was told. Then, the brunette spread a black cape over Naruto's shoulders, so that the cut hair ends wouldn't cling to the clothes.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything drastic. I'm not going to make you bald or anything," Kankuro said and smiled quickly to Naruto through the mirror. "I'm just going to cut the dry ends and shorten the hair a bit, to bring out your wonderful shape of head and face."

"Wow, thanks," Naruto replied. No one had ever complimented his facial features.

As the brunette began to work, a silence fell over them. Via the mirror, Naruto followed the progress of hair cutting and every now and then, he glanced at Kankuro: the man looked so serious, probably because he was concentrating.

"You know," Naruto started cautiously, thinking about their earlier conversation, "Maybe you shouldn't paint all the walls purple, maybe you should use pink or red or even yellow for a change, so that you would see that feelings aren't always as dark as violet is."

"So you claim that painting walls purple is like some self-fulfilling prophecy: that if I do so, my feelings and love life will become sad, no matter what. I don't think so," Kankuro only replied.

"I did some research on that Feng Shui in the library, and one book said that you must be careful if you paint one wall for example blue, it could lead you drowning into the depths of depression. Even though some color, like purple, would give you positive feelings in smaller amounts, they say that in larger amounts it can have very harmful consequences," Naruto said, sounding like a teacher.

"You're right on that part but you forget that _we_ are responsible for our own lives, and we can't blame some painted walls if something goes wrong," Kankuro argued back. He gave the blond a quick glance through the mirror. He was surprised that the boy had explored the eastern philosophy and had seemed to learn some basic concepts.

"But you're missing my point: colors do influence us. Guess why I'm always favoring orange pieces of clothing? Because they make me feel happier! And I dare say that if you had more cheerful wall color at home, you would feel tons of better and maybe it would influence you positively, and you would feel overall better which wouldn't go unnoticed by others," Naruto defended his point of view. He was very new to the eastern philosophy but he wasn't dumb: it was natural that dark colors on large amounts darkened the mood whereas bright colors lifted it.

"Fine, you're right," Kankuro admitted after a silence. "But I'm not going to repaint my walls," he then added firmly. "Besides, you have dark brown walls at your home."

"Yeah but I had no choice in that. If I could decide, my walls would be orange!" Naruto said cheerfully, smiling excitedly.

"Whoa, wouldn't that be a bit too much? You're so energetic all the time, wouldn't orange just rev you up?" Kankuro doubted, clearly not thinking that orange would be a good idea.

"Maybe, but at least then I wouldn't be in danger of becoming depressed," Naruto said, and laughed a bit.

The conversation died after that but the silence that fell over them was natural. Kankuro had noticed that when he had been washing the boy's hair, it had been a rather nice contact. It had felt good and natural to touch the blond's hair and scalp. To Kankuro, Naruto seemed so petite and fragile that he feared that if he had massaged harder, the boy would have broken. So he had tried to be as gentle as possible. He didn't want to hurt the blond, ever.

"Now I'm done with cutting, I will dry your hair next," Kankuro then said, once again looking at the boy via the mirror. He was careful that he wouldn't burn Naruto's skin with the hot air of the hairdryer's. Because the device buzzed so loudly, they couldn't have a conversation during the drying: they would've had to shout to hear each other. When the hair was finally dry, it was time to stylish it.

"I'm going to use coconut-scented hair wax to your hair. Don't worry, there's really no coconut oil in the wax, because it can easily make the hair look greasy. This is just an artificial fragrance," Kankuro explained, dipping his finger in the hair wax, and then starting to stylish the blond hair.

Naruto followed the progress via the mirror and it amazed him how careful the brunette was, so deep in concentration. Not a tress got away without attention. It was like an artist at work, creating a well-planned sculpture.

"Voilà!" Kankuro exclaimed at last, stepping a step away from the blond, looking at the finished hairstyle and then at the boy. "Happy birthday, Naruto!"

"Wow, you're really good!" Naruto said happily. He was at a loss for words for once. He looked groomed, he looked _wealthy_: like someone who had money to go to a hairdresser's and use expensive hair products. Overall, he looked very stylish. He was still his old self, with an updated, lovely-scented hairstyle. He was so flattered. "This is so much better than my old, overgrown hair. Thank you!"

"You're welcome," Kankuro said with a small smile. "And oh," the then added, taking a small jar out of the shelf, "I give you this."

Naruto stared at the jar of coconut-scented hair wax. "But I can't take it! It's expensive!"

"Nonsense. Yes, it costs more than those in the grocery stores but the quality is also better. And I accept no refusal, I insist you take this. It's a gift from me to you. The end of story," Kankuro said firmly, draping the little jar to the blond. "Besides, contrary to what you seem to think, you _deserve_ it."

"Oh… Thank you," Naruto said, finally accepting the token of friendship. He rarely felt like deserving anything but maybe now he could take this hair wax jar and be happy about it.

Kankuro removed the black cape from Naruto's shoulders and shook the cut hair to the floor. "I have to clean up now. My workmates won't appreciate it if here's a mess when they come here on Monday morning," Kankuro explained. With that said, he started to sweep the floor.

"Do you have nice workmates?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah, they're alright," Kankuro said, his gaze on the floor.

"How long have you been a barber?" the blond asked. He liked to rest his eyes on the brunette, it was so nice to watch him clean up.

"About four to five years," Kankuro answered. Man, time had flown fast. It was sad.

"And you like your job?" Naruto stated another question.

"I love it. It's like a dream come true," the brunette replied. Now he was done with cleaning up. "What's your dream occupation, by the way?"

"Uh… I'd like to be the mayor of this city someday. Then, people would respect me," Naruto said. "But that job requires good grades and I don't have them…" he then added with a sadder voice.

"Don't worry, you can earn people's respect in so many ways. Being a mayor doesn't automatically mean people would respect you. There are other occupations too, like policemen, firemen and even those who work in ambulances, who are highly appreciated. Even volunteer workers are looked up to," Kankuro spoke. Somehow it wasn't news to him that this boy here thirsted after respect: being an orphan and bullied could do that.

"I guess so," Naruto replied, not sounding very enthusiastic.

Then they took their things, put the alarm back on and left the little barber's shop. It was now 10:30 and the sun was shining brightly in the sky, even though it was chilly.

The two of them decided to walk to Meadowville, it wouldn't took longer than half an hour. Once they were in there, they went to the library because Kankuro wanted to see what kind of Feng Shui books there were.

"You are crazy about that philosophy. Shouldn't you read something else for a change?" Naruto asked, leaning on a bookshelf and watching as the brunette flipped through a book after another.

"I also like to read books about renovating, how does that sound to you?" Kankuro smiled, putting a book back into the shelf.

"Sounds boring to me," Naruto said truthfully. He hadn't anything against renovating but he had no interest in doing things like that himself.

"I guess you like to read something that has action and excitement in it, like comics?" the brunette guessed. "Do you like horror novels?"

"Comics are okay but I've sort of grown out of that age. Horror novels are good but pretty scary and after reading them, it's hard for me to catch sleep," the blond responded, shivers running down his spine as he thought about UFOs and other supernatural things.

"I see," Kankuro only said. He had never been scared because of horror movies or books of that genre but he could easily imagine how as sensitive person as Naruto could react to them.

"We could go to my place, you know. I have bought some new tea: it's called White Dragon and—yes you guessed it right—it's white tea," Naruto spoke. The tea had been rather expensive but he had wanted to buy it for special occasions, like for those times when the brunette would visit him.

"Sounds tempting. I'm not familiar with white tea," Kankuro confessed. He stepped away from the bookshelf, indicating that he was ready to go.

It didn't take them long to get to Naruto's place. It was now past noon, the sun was at its highest and the small one-room apartment was flooded with light. In this lighting, the brown walls didn't look as depressing as after sunset.

"I'll make tea for us," Naruto announced, taking the bag of 'White Dragon' tea out of the kitchenette cupboard. He boiled the water, then put the tea leaves and the hot water into a large yellow tea pot and let it brew.

Meanwhile, Kankuro had sat down on the bed, absentmindedly staring at the blond who had immersed himself into making tea. The atmosphere was so peaceful, so convivial, that the brunette couldn't help but enjoy his time here.

After a few minutes, Naruto poured some tea into two yellow mugs. The mugs he put on a little wooden tray, then carried them to the bed. "Here you are," the blond said, smiling faintly to his friend.

Not bothering to wait, Kankuro sipped the hot liquid. "Hmm, it's quite tasty. Or as tasty as tea can be," he then commented.

"The flavor is very delicate," Naruto added, nodding. Then, when he turned his head into the brunette's direction, a sudden jolt of pain shot through his neck and shoulders and he almost dropped the tea cup. "Ouch! My neck!" The pain was like out of a clear blue sky—sudden and unexpected.

"You get that from walking outside without a scarf at this time of the year," Kankuro offered an explanation. "It's windy and cold and your muscles react to that."

"But I didn't feel cold outside," Naruto said, rubbing the sore area.

"Come on," Kankuro replied, putting his yellow tea cup down on the floor. "Turn your back to me, I can help."

Naruto did as he was told and when his back was turned to the brunette, he could hear Kankuro inching closer to him on the bedside. Then, two warm hands touched Naruto's neck and shoulders, and because of that, the blond started a bit. He wasn't used to this kind of contact with anyone.

"Relax," Kankuro said in a gentle voice, "I'm not going to hurt you."

At the words, Naruto almost melted into a happy puddle. Of course he knew that the brunette wouldn't hurt him but the tone of voice Kankuro had used was what made the blond feel like the happiest person on earth. That tone had been so sweet, almost loving. _'I'm not going to hurt you'_ Naruto repeated the words in his mind, and a small smile came to his lips.

Kankuro started to massage the sore muscles, trying to be as gentle as possible. Damn the boy had tight muscles in his shoulder area! The kid should use at least some kind of scarf from now on.

Naruto tried his best to be as relaxed as possible. He felt Kankuro's warm hands touch his shoulders, gently, softly. Even though he knew he shouldn't do so, he interpreted the actions as a token of love, for wasn't a friendship a form of love, too? He was desperately in need of this wonderful contact, it felt like heaven! As the warm hands kept on massaging him, Naruto would've purred if he had been a cat. No one had ever done anything like this to the blond. No one had ever promised not to hurt him. And he had never been touched like this, so this sensation was new and miraculous to him.

"You're very good," Naruto said. For a long time ago, he had closed his eyes, so that his sense of touch would intensify.

"I know. I used to be a masseur before I studied to become a barber," Kankuro said quietly, feeling the blond's tight muscles with his hands.

"You have two occupations?" Naruto asked, opening his eyes, and tried to turn his head in order to see the brunette.

"Yeah," Kankuro only replied, gently guiding Naruto's head back to its earlier position. "It's better if you look straight ahead. That way, the muscles I'm massaging won't get in worse condition."

"Oh," Naruto said, closing his eyes again. "Why did you want to become a masseur?"

"I don't know anymore, to tell the truth. Maybe it was because I wanted to work with people," Kankuro replied. He had been so young back then, his whole life still ahead, when he had applied to the school from where he had graduated as a masseur later on. If he could now live his life once more, he would go straight to the barber school, because making people stylish and beautiful was what he was good at.

Kankuro kept on massaging the blond, and to his surprise, it felt actually nice and natural to be in this kind of contact with the boy. When he rubbed one sensitive area, Naruto let out a gasp and to Kankuro, it oddly sounded very questionable. It was then some weird ideas popped into his mind, and his inner self whispered to him: _'Why wouldn't you grope him elsewhere, too? Like this morning… Hmm…'_

At the thought, Kankuro almost gasped himself, too. He hadn't just thought that! Just because he was a little curious now about the same sex, it didn't mean that he would use this boy here to satisfy his curiosity! Suddenly, he became very aware that he was alone with Naruto, on a bed, touching him, clearly making him enjoy. And right after that, he remembered his own age, and the blond's youth, and he felt so dirty. _'I'm not a pedophile!'_ he quickly thought, defending himself. He had only offered to massage the boy because the kid's shoulder-neck area had been in such a bad condition!

Because of these alarming thoughts, Kankuro wasn't concentrating enough and he touched one sore area a bit too forcefully, earning another gasp from Naruto. Suddenly, it was hard to breathe. Sitting so close to the boy began to feel uncomfortable instead of natural. Everything seemed so wrong, so _questionable_. He was touching a boy who was still a _kid_, for god's sake! Oh, what had he done!

"I'm sorry," Kankuro suddenly said, pulling his hands away.

Naruto turned to sit so that he could see his friend, but the brunette was looking elsewhere. "For what? You did a wonderful job. I'm feeling much better now."

"I accidentally hurt you," Kankuro said, because he couldn't say aloud for what he was truly apologizing.

"No you didn't. Besides, it was good pain: it really helped to relax my muscles," Naruto corrected, "I should thank you."

A silence fell over them, and still Kankuro refused to look the blond in the eyes.

Naruto measured an idea in his mind. He wanted to repay the kindness to Kankuro somehow. He just wasn't sure if he could say his idea aloud, for he feared he would sound silly or pitiful. But then he reminded himself again that if he had never been brave (like when he had followed Kankuro out of the bus), he wouldn't be where he was today.

Gulping, almost swallowing the words back, he finally suggested, "I can massage your neck, too, if you want to. I've heard that barbers also have tight muscles in their shoulder-neck area."

Slowly, Kankuro turned his head to see the blond. His own uneasiness hadn't yet dissolved, and he wasn't sure if he wanted the boy to touch him. It would be safer to say no. But then again, Kankuro was a bit curious at what feelings Naruto's touch would awaken in him—it was just because the blond was a male, there was no other reason. On the other hand, Kankuro was frightened at what he might end up feeling. He could always leave this place if things got uncomfortable.

Quietly, Kankuro turned his back to Naruto. "Go ahead."

In silence, the blond set to work. Gently, he began feeling the brunette's muscles, giving them a circular motion massage. "Is this good?" he asked, for he knew he wasn't anything near a professional.

"Yeah," Kankuro breathed, closing his eyes. As the blond's hands kept on touching his upper back, shivers ran up and down his spine. Naruto's soft moves were like caresses to Kankuro, who let out a breath he hadn't known he had been holding. Still his eyes closed, he imagined that his ex-girlfriend was touching him. That didn't excite him one bit. When he imagined it was another male, someone around his age, his pulse quickened and his cheeks became warm. A scent of cedar wafted into his nose and he inhaled quite deeply, also noticing there were soft scents of coconut and strawberry there.

Still concentrating, Kankuro imagined that the person who was massaging him was Naruto, like it was in reality. He was beginning to feel dirty, because he was letting a boy (a _kid_ for god's sake!) touch him. But somehow, the sensation was addicting: Naruto was so gentle and the soft, circular motions he made were sort of adorable. It was clear that the blond was being careful with him, not wanting to hurt him, and this made something quiver in Kankuro's heart. It was then that he realized that he probably _meant something_ for Naruto. He was most likely the blond's only friend and in that way, he probably had a special place in the boy's heart.

It had never occurred to Kankuro that Naruto perhaps held him dear. The blond's careful touches proved that things had to be so—for if Naruto hadn't appreciated Kankuro at all, the blond wouldn't have been this tender with massaging. This realization made Kankuro think his own attitude towards their friendship: if Naruto held him dear, wasn't it a time already that the brunette would admit that the blond was important to him, too? For it was true, Naruto was important to Kankuro. It wasn't like Kankuro had any other friends, excluding his workmates.

It was always hard for the brunette to admit that people had influenced him so much that he held them dear. It was like a protective wall he had built around himself. If he denied that anyone was important to him, it wouldn't hurt him so much if those people cheated on him or left him. Or at least that was what he had been telling himself…

Kankuro had always been a loner, never one who had many friends. Nowadays, even those few friends of his weren't around him anymore. There were reasons, and Kankuro blamed himself. It was his own fault that he had slowly drifted apart from everyone. The only one who regularly visited him anymore was his brother Gaara.

And now there was Naruto, Kankuro's newest friend. It still puzzled the brunette how close it was that they wouldn't have befriended at all. And now he was here, and Naruto was giving him a gentle massage, which reminded him that he was letting an underage boy touch him. How wrong was that? What if somebody saw them? Wouldn't they judge Kankuro, telling him he was a pervert, when in reality he was only curious? He could feel the warmth of Naruto's hands through the fabric of his hoodie, and it somehow led to his cheeks getting warm.

What would it feel like if the boy touched him from elsewhere, too? Like arms, chest, face… No, that was a forbidden line of thought! He couldn't, or shouldn't have such ideas… It was okay in his opinion to be curious but directing his curiosity towards this boy was just wrong. What would the blond even say if he knew what kind of ideas Kankuro had?

'_I can't let this continue. It will only get worse,'_ Kankuro thought. "Thanks, Naruto, that's enough," he then said, turning to see the blond.

"Oh, so soon?" Naruto asked, letting his hands drop. He hoped he had even been remotely good at massaging.

"It felt good, maybe you should become a masseur someday?" Kankuro said and gave a little smile. Still, a shiver ran down his spine as he saw the happy glint in the blond's eyes. Had massaging him really made the boy so joyful?

"You could teach me!" Naruto answered, grinning, oblivious to the fact that his words sounded double-minded in the brunette's mind.

"Yeah," Kankuro replied weakly and looked away. It was then that he noticed the yellow tea mug on the floor. He had totally forgotten the drink there. With one gulp, he emptied the cup, trying not to care that the tea was cold by now. "Thanks for the tea."

"You're welcome, thanks for your birthday surprise. You really made me happy," Naruto said, giving a small smile.

"It was nothing," Kankuro answered with a modest tone of voice. He glanced at the clock. It was now 13:05. "I should get going. It sure has been a nice day."

"So soon?" Naruto asked, trying not to sound disappointed. But he had already been in the brunette's company since last night, he really shouldn't complain.

"I'm sorry, I still haven't finished renovating that one room in my house," Kankuro said. After workdays, he was often too tired to start painting and wallpapering.

"I understand," Naruto said kindly, escorting the brunette to the door. "Can I give you a call someday?"

"Anytime," Kankuro said, putting on his shoes and jacket. His bag he picked up from the floor.

"Um," Naruto started suddenly, looking down to his feet, until he met the black eyes with a kind look. He opened his mouth to speak but when no words came, he closed it, then stepped closer to the brunette and entwined him into a gentle hug.

"Thank you, I had so much fun. You have no idea how much I appreciate our friendship," Naruto whispered straight into the brunette's ear. He felt silly for confessing such a thing but he wanted the older man to know what he thought. He wanted to show he was thankful, not ungrateful.

Kankuro felt two petite arms around him, engaging him into a warm hug but he didn't dare to do the same—so his hands remained limp on his sides. As the blond spoke, he felt hot breath hit against his ear, and it wasn't a totally uncomfortable sensation. Before he could analyze the situation any further, Naruto moved away and the hug ended.

"Me, too," Kankuro finally replied but his voice came out raspy, for his throat felt suddenly very dry.

With that said, he opened the door and bid goodbye, then escaped into the outside world.

**-o-o-o-**

After an hour, Naruto was in the library again, on the Internet this time. It was now two o'clock and the library would close after an hour. He had still plenty of time.

He logged into the date ad website again, to check if ShukakuBoy667 had replied to his message. They had chatted for a couple of weeks via the website and he had learned that the guy's name was actually Gaara and that he liked photography. Added to that, Naruto had found out that the man worked as a make-up artist in Konoha Theater. In his earlier message, the blond had suggested that they could meet someday, and to his luck, it seemed that Gaara had finally replied. Excited, Naruto clicked the message to open it.

'_Hi Naruto! Could we meet for example tomorrow, on Sunday? I have a day off then. Sorry for the short notice, I hope it's OK. I'll be at the Konoha Museum tomorrow at 12:00, come there if you want to meet me. -Gaara-'_

Quickly, Naruto began to reply that it was okay for him to meet tomorrow. He also felt that it would be wise to tell what kind of clothes he would be wearing, so that Gaara would recognize him out of the crowd. When he was done, he logged out and left the library. It was near to the closing time already.

**-o-o-o-**

In the evening, after getting the smaller room finally finished, Kankuro was lying on his bed. Now, he didn't need to do more than furnish the small room. He would move the bed there, and get a sofa and a table with two chairs in the bigger room. He would have to start going to flea markets to buy those pieces of furniture, he wouldn't buy them as new, for he liked things that had a story.

His thoughts wandered back to the earlier happenings of this day. After everything, he had come to a conclusion that Naruto's company had really done good to him. Even though he felt awkward around the boy at times, the positive feelings the blond awakened in him were much greater. Naruto had also taught him things about life, even though he hadn't realized it first. The blond was so open-hearted, welcoming and unprejudiced that it made Kankuro consider about the protective walls he had built around himself. Would it be so dangerous to lower them? What could he lose? Well, maybe he would end up seriously hurt someday but he could also gain so much.

Maybe, if he was more open to new ideas and suggestions, he would get more happiness into his life. Would it be crazy to repaint these walls? The violet was kind of oppressing… Naruto had made Kankuro see that maybe all the (color) choices he had made weren't the right ones. If he felt better about himself and the world around him, would the 'right kind of' people really approach him? Could he find true happiness that way?

Then again, there were problems. In a way, Kankuro wanted to know what it would feel like to be with a man but he didn't want to really experience it, for he wasn't a gay, really. Too bad knowledge always came with experience, they were inseparable. Deep down, he was scared about his own feelings and where they could lead him. He just wanted to be sexually normal and healthy again, not this weird oddball he seemed to be now. He wasn't sure why he had changed. All that he knew was that the future was scary.

His thoughts drifted to Naruto, and to the moment he had been massaged by the blond. Closing his eyes, Kankuro could feel the petite hands all over his upper back like they still were there. The truth was he didn't recoil at the contact itself but the fact that Naruto was underage. Even though he liked the blond's cheerful personality and hadn't found the massaging or the hug inappropriate, he couldn't let himself think about anything that could be labeled as illegal. Besides, he was sure that the blond hadn't meant those things as anything… even remotely sexual. Maybe because Naruto was an orphan and had probably lived a life without touching anyone, the blond was now so keen on making physical contact? That had to be it.

His eyes still closed, Kankuro's mind returned to the moment when he had massaged the boy. His hands still remembered the feeling, the warmth that had radiated from Naruto. What if… what if he had lowered his hands down to the blond's waist back then, and pulled him into a hug from behind? No, that was a forbidden thought! But still Kankuro had just imagined it… And he could imagine so much more, if only he let himself. He was alone now, no one would detect these thoughts. No one would ever x-ray his mind to find these things.

If he had really pulled Naruto into that hug from behind, he surely would've smelled the cedar with coconut, because he could sense those scents from afar, too. The cedar was pleasant in a manly way. It really suited the blond. What if he really had entwined the blond into the embrace, where would've his hands travelled then? To the blond's chest? How would've Naruto reacted to that kind of gesture? In his mind, Kankuro imagined the boy lean onto his chest, accepting the hug. The brunette even imagined the shared warmth, too, how good it would feel.

But then, Kankuro's mind produced another outcome: what if Naruto would get rigid from fright? What if the blond would feel disgusted that an old man like Kankuro was trying to get close to him? These ideas got the brunette open his eyes in a flash. That surely would've been the more realistic outcome, right? Naruto probably saw him as a safe big brother figure, not as a potential… partner.

And why was he even thinking about these hypothetical things? He was doing wrong every minute he directed his curiosity at the boy! He needed to make some things clear to himself: First of all, he didn't have any romantic feelings for Naruto. Secondly, things were proceeding way too fast in his mind! Just this morning, he had accidentally groped the blond and now, in the evening of the same day, he was already imagining all kind of questionable things.

It was confusing. It was dangerous to imagine these things, because even though he was now alone, he would meet Naruto someday again, and what if then, these precarious thoughts would somehow come to the surface? It would only confuse everyone. He couldn't let that happen.

**-o-o-o-**

Meanwhile, Naruto was in the shower. He was happy and he smiled as he thought back how this day had been like. He had gotten to spend time with Kankuro and the brunette had given him a gentle, friendly massage! At the memory, Naruto entwined his arms around himself, it was like a self-hug. Warm water caressed his body and for a moment, he closed his eyes and imagined what Kankuro's touch had felt like.

The thought made Naruto blush and he opened his eyes. He really shouldn't get overly excited about the attention Kankuro had given him, because the brunette would most likely never return these feelings. If he let his feelings grow stronger, he would only get more hurt in the end. But then again, Naruto wanted to love, he liked all the positive feelings that emotion brought with it. In his opinion, the world would be so much better place if people let themselves love more.

But then again, there was this Gaara who had taken interest in Naruto on the Internet. The blond was happy that with the redhead, there was no pondering about the guy's orientation: because Gaara had contacted him via the date ad website, he most likely was interested in Naruto in _that way_. The attention he had received from the redhead had sort of lifted the blond's low self-respect.

Thinking about tomorrow and meeting Gaara made Naruto a bit nervous. It would be his first time on a date with someone. Naruto stayed under the shower a bit longer than necessary. The pouring water felt like someone was caressing him. Oh, how he yearned for someone to hold him gently, to love him. Maybe he would eventually receive those things from Gaara, who knew? But then again, Naruto felt attracted to Kankuro, too. Could he feel that towards the redhead, also?

Turning off the shower, Naruto thought that only time could tell.

**-o-o-o-**

**A/N: **_I hope this chapter wasn't too unrealistic. In the next chapter there will be Gaara. ^^ I have to warn you that the next chapter will take some time, I hope that's okay._


	5. Unexpected

**-o-o-o- ****Blueberry Hill ****-o-o-o-**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own 'Naruto' and I don't make any money from these writings.

**A/N: **_Thanks for the reviews and stuff, they really keep me going! :) They're like a kick on the ass to me, a kick I often need. :)_

_Sorry for the long wait: I've worked long hours and I moved into another town – I've been busy!_

__I hope Gaara isn't too OOC but if he is, I can't really help it. I wanted to portray him the way I did.__

_This chapter will get better towards the end… I refuse to reveal anything else!_

**-o-o-o-**

**Chapter 5: Unexpected**

**-o-o-o-**

The clock of the museum was now 12 o'clock sharp but Naruto didn't see anyone with red hair in there. He glanced around, but there was just ordinary crowd, no one he was looking for. He walked around a bit in the hall, until he stopped and glanced at the clock in front of him again: 12:01.

Right then, someone covered his eyes from behind and he couldn't see a thing.

"Guess who?" a monotonous, low voice asked. It wasn't a tone as low as Kankuro's but a manly voice nevertheless.

"Uh… Gaara?" Naruto guessed, for he was hundred per cent sure that no one else would do such a thing to him in a public place like this.

"Congratulations, you got it right," the voice said and after that, the hands were removed and Naruto could see again.

Quickly, the blond turned around to see a man with bright red hair and black-rimmed jade eyes. The man had black, skinny clothes and a short leatherette jacket. Gaara was as intimidating in the flesh as he had been in the picture on the website.

"How did you know it was me?" Naruto asked, giving a polite smile to the redhead. He was wearing his beloved orange shirt with black jeans and blue jacket, and he had stylized his hair with the coconut-scented hair wax he had received yesterday.

"Nobody else was wearing a blue jacket, so I guessed it was you. And if it hadn't been, well, then I would've been in an interesting situation," Gaara explained, changing his weight from a leg to another. He gave the blond an overall look, deciding that what he was seeing was pretty good. And the blond's hair looked very stylish.

"I can imagine," Naruto replied, smiling at the thought of Gaara covering the eyes of a wrong person.

"I'm glad you decided to come here today," the redhead admitted. Quite many of his Internet acquaintances had stopped staying in contact with him when they had found out about his looks and personality.

"I really wanted to," Naruto said. He felt kind of betraying Kankuro because he was now on a date with this redhead. But because the blond honestly thought that the brunette was simply heterosexual (with the mention of ex-girlfriends), Naruto had decided that even though he was attracted to Kankuro, he should see how things would go with Gaara. The blond was curious and a bit romance-hungry, and now that someone showed interest in him, he was unwilling to say no.

"Well, shall we enter the exhibition?" Gaara then asked, looking at the blue-eyed boy. "Don't worry, I'll pay for our tickets, since it was my idea to come here."

"Uh, are you sure it's alright?" Naruto was unsure. He put his hand into his pocket, to feel his slim frog purse.

"Yep. Let's go," Gaara said confidently, leading them to the ticket counter. "Two tickets, please. One adult and one student," he said and gave some coins to the person at the register.

After paying, they entered the exhibition of Konoha's three most famous photographers' artwork. They walked so close that their shoulders almost bumped, and when they stopped in front of the first photograph, Naruto stepped a little farther away—he wanted to keep his personal space—but the redhead moved closer, again.

"This picture could be so much more interesting if it had been taken from a different angle of view," Gaara commented, tilting his head.

"I guess," Naruto admitted. He tilted his head, too, in hopes of seeing the same idea as the redhead.

They walked from an artwork to another, and Gaara commented them every now and then. "You know, life can look very different depending on your point of view. Sometimes you just have to think outside of the box," the redhead said in front of a photograph of a yellow, banana-shaped sofa. "Damn, that kind of couch would be so cool," he then added.

"Well, at least its color is cheerful," Naruto pointed out. "But maybe it wouldn't be so comfortable to sit on."

"Naruto," Gaara said, giving a sideway glance at the blond, "The idea of that sofa is not to be comfortable—the idea of it is to catch the attention of anyone who comes into the room. Think of orange, shiny, high-heeled shoes. The person who buys them doesn't buy them because they're good for the feet, the person buys them because they have attitude. And attitude is everything that counts, in my opinion, because it defines how you view life and the opportunities it offers you."

Naruto didn't quite catch the philosophy, but nodded nevertheless. He didn't want to appear as stupid. He feared that his date―or anybody else―would make fun of him if he said something 'wrong': bullying had left that kind of marks on him.

They continued watching the works of art, until along came a black and white picture of a pine cone that was lying on the grass, and next to it, there was a round black hole in the ground.

"What do you think of this one?" the redhead asked with a solemn look on his face.

"Um…" the blond began, tilting his head, hoping it would help him to produce an opinion. "I think it's a pine cone lying next to a hole in the ground."

"Yes but what do you think it portrays?" Gaara asked, stepping and inch closer.

Naruto noticed this, but let the matter be. He didn't step further away this time. "Uh, nature?" he then guessed, for honestly, it was all he could come up with.

"Partly, I agree with you," the redhead answered, giving a brief smile to his companion. "I think this portrays how future, which is the black hole in the picture, is unknown and cannot be seen. Future is like a black hole, because it is unknown. The pine cone portrays a living being, in my opinion," Gaara pondered, until another idea came to his mind.

"Or then it could be seen as the opposite: the black hole represents birth, the darkness from where we come from when we are born. And the pine cone is the living thing that has just manifested from the darkness: born to this world," the redhead said.

"It could be seen like that, yes," Naruto replied, trying to sound like he had understood everything. This got him an appreciating nod from the redhead.

They watched the rest of the photographs in silence. Once they were done, Gaara gave a questioning look at the blond.

"So, now we've seen this nice exhibition and the picture of the lovely banana-sofa. What would you like to do next?" the redhead asked, biting his lip. He had some plans but he thought it would be polite to ask the opinion of his companion, too.

"Um, I'm not sure," Naruto confessed. He hadn't really planned what they would do together.

"Well, let me decide, then. It was me who asked you on this date so I should have a plan," Gaara answered, as they walked out of the museum.

Naruto blushed secretly at the word 'date'―he really was on an official date now, the first of his entire life! He hoped his insecurity and innocence wouldn't make him look pitiful but on the other hand, he had heard that some people found those features attractive.

"Naruto," Gaara began, and after he had gotten the full attention of the blond, he continued, "If I remember right, there's live music in one small bar/restaurant today. Would you like to go there?"

"Sure. What kind of music do they play?" Naruto asked as they walked down the street.

"It's electronic pop," the redhead informed, giving a sideway glance at his date.

"Sounds like fun," the blond admitted, smiling faintly at the man walking next to him.

"Good, it's settled then. I've wanted to go to their gigs for so long but I often have work on weekends," Gaara said, a little sad. As they walked quite close together, he could smell soft scents of cedar and coconut and he almost got enthused by it. The boy smelled so good and he was pretty, too, with round cheeks, plump lips and big, blue, innocent eyes. And Gaara had a thing for blondes, too. He did his best to contain himself and not to lean in closer and inhale the beautiful scents.

To the redhead, Naruto seemed to be open-minded and that was the reason why he got the courage to ask what was on his mind, "Naruto, the gig won't start until three hours, would you like to do something in the meanwhile? I have some plans for us if you don't mind…"

"What plans?" the blond asked, his innocent blue eyes shining like diamonds. He was looking in the jade eyes, which held a deep and unreadable glint in them.

"Well, I was wondering if you'd be interested to come to my place, we could get ready for the gig and I have to tell you that I'm not a horrible cook, either," Gaara said, trying to make it sound casual that he was actually trying to get his companion to his home on their first date. He didn't usually do so but Naruto was an exception. Gaara liked the fact that Naruto was so young, because people of that age were usually open-minded and hadn't yet turned into sour and cynical. It didn't bother Gaara that his date was underage. In his opinion, love was free and he had the right to love people of all ages if he wanted to.

Naruto's eyes widened up, he hadn't seen that coming. He wondered if it was okay to go to his date's place, a date whom he had only just met. But on the other hand, he had chatted with Gaara on the Internet for quite some time, they knew each other on some level. Finally the blond decided that nothing bad would probably happen if he said yes. Gaara seemed like a trustworthy person. "It's okay, I'm a bit hungry," Naruto then said. "Where do you live?" he then added, as an afterthought.

"I live in Blackwater, we can go there by bus so that we won't have to walk in this windy weather. I bet it'll rain soon," the redhead said, looking up to the sky where grey clouds were gathering ominously.

"I know that area, I've visited the harbor a couple of times," Naruto got enthusiastic. Right then he remembered how nice it had been going there with Kankuro, and how nice it now felt with Gaara, and he felt a pang of guilt in his heart. He tried to tell himself that the feeling was in vain. He wasn't doing anything wrong at the moment. This was his life and he would live it the way that was best at the moment. Trying to get rid of the guilt, Naruto began to talk about something casual, like weather, his own home, his love for ramen and so on.

Gaara listened to the blond's chatter which flowed like a peaceful river. He wondered why this boy had gotten him to think of something so poetic. It was nice listening to the words that fell from the plump, soft-looking lips one after another, until they formed sentences and whole stories. The redhead commented every now and then but let the blond speak for the most of the time―the boy seemed to want to talk so why would he prevent it? He tried to keep his gaze on the azure eyes which were deep like ocean, instead he found himself often staring at the lips that looked so… kissable.

Startled at his own thoughts, Gaara momentarily turned his gaze away. They were now sitting on the bus, and the safest place he could look was his own lap. Had he really thought that Naruto was kissable? Did he really feel like that after just having met this boy? When he had chatted with the blond via the date website, he hadn't seen the boy's image yet. He had always imagined that Naruto was taller, more muscular… manlier. And for heaven's sake he had never been capable of imagining that this boy would smell so good! Instinctively Gaara inhaled and was glad to smell the cedar and the coconut.

When he had met the boy in person, he had been surprised that in reality Naruto was quite short and thin, fragile-looking. The blond wasn't a manly man, and it felt wrong to say that Naruto was feminine, because that wasn't the whole truth, either. Naruto was clearly a male, but he still had childlike features on his face, like the round cheeks and plump lips. It made Gaara wish that those features wouldn't disappear, if he ever were lucky enough to have a proper relationship with this boy. To him, the boy looked like a fragile doll, a doll that needed to be protected.

Naruto looked at his date who was suddenly looking elsewhere. The blond took this moment to make silent notions about the redhead, and he didn't continue his babbling. The sudden stop in talking got Gaara to look again at the blond, who couldn't help but gaze into the jade depths. The green eyes held a weird look, a look that screamed 'adult' to Naruto, and suddenly the blond realized that he himself was only a boy, whereas his date was practically a grown man. Naruto felt so little and so inexperienced. He had never even kissed anyone. If he and Gaara ever became an item, would his own inexperience bother the redhead? Naruto was sure that whereas this was his first date, this was most certainly not Gaara's first one. What expectations did the redhead have?

What if Gaara would eventually turn him down? That hadn't really been crossing Naruto's mind but now, when this attractive man was sitting so close to him, the fear of rejection suddenly hit him. Gaara's face was like a mask, it was quite hard to read any emotions from it. Being bullied had lead Naruto to thirst on people's acceptance. He wanted to appeal to other people, to show that he was worthy. Dissolving the insecure thoughts, he concentrated on more positive things. Right from the beginning, Naruto had felt safe around the redhead. Gaara's emo-punk style made him look like a tough guy, like someone who wouldn't end up being bullied and shoved around. Some sort of authority radiated from Gaara, and Naruto believed that around the redhead, no one would dare to pick on him, either.

Naruto couldn't tear his gaze away from the solemn green eyes that were staring at him. What was his date thinking now, to look so mysterious? The blond bit his lower lip, a nervous habit he sometimes had, and instantly the man's gaze was on his lips. The jade eyes darkened but in a flick of an eye, Gaara was back at staring at him and Naruto felt mystified. At the same time, the blond felt something touch his hand that lay on the bench between them: the redhead had laid his pale hand on top of his tanned one. Naruto was just about to say something, at least his mouth had opened already, when the redhead turned his head away and withdrew the hand.

The blond tried to get all the pieces of the puzzle together when Gaara pushed the 'STOP' button and the bus slowed down. They got off the vehicle in silence, their shoulders almost bumped but neither seemed to care. Still, it hadn't started to rain even though the clouds clearly held the possibility of downpour. The sun was veiled in those grey nimbuses and only a few rays of light percolated the masses of clouds.

The threat of raining didn't seem to disappoint the redhead, who walked forward quite briskly. Naruto followed him obediently, in silence. The silence was broken momentarily by Gaara's faint humming, as if he was trying to remember a song and not quite succeeding in it – a few notes here and there always missed. Naruto didn't dare to break the almost-silence, which was getting more awkward as seconds passed. He wondered what his companion was thinking.

As he walked, Gaara kept his eyes in the pavement in front of him, it felt safer that way. To tell the truth, he felt a little scared about what he had thought on the bus some minutes ago. He couldn't – he really couldn't – form an infatuation to anyone so quickly. He didn't even know this boy so well yet, what ground did he even have for any feelings whatsoever? Feelings that were real and true should be founded on a stable ground, they couldn't just appear in a flick of an eye. Still, Gaara felt like he was standing on quicksand…

He was an adult, he was a rational being. A boy wouldn't destabilize him like this. Humming made it easier to distract himself from the appealing scent of cedar. It also made it easier to organize his thoughts and feelings: music was like a key to order.

"What are you thinking?" Naruto finally got the courage to ask and break the silence.

Finally, Gaara spared a glance at his date and sighed, hoping he didn't sound disappointed because nothing could be farther from the truth. Those incredibly blue eyes were now looking back at him and waiting for an answer. "I was wondering what to cook for you, or for us, I mean," Gaara told, shrugging nonchalantly.

"Do you have ramen?" the blond asked eagerly, his eyes lighting up.

"I guess," the redhead answered. He liked ramen, that was true, but it wasn't his favorite dish.

"Hooray," Naruto said with a smile, his eyes thinning into slits. He had had ramen yesterday but now that he was hungry again, he wouldn't say no to a bowl of hot noodles.

"So… I got the idea that you eat a lot of ramen? What else do you like?" Gaara asked as they walked on.

"Well…" Naruto pondered, thinking. "I like to watch people that pass by, see them hold hands and laugh. I like to see a flock of birds in the ground and when I walk past, they all take wing at the same time. And when I look then at the sky, they're suddenly nothing more but small dots. I also like the smell of summer, and the midnight sun."

"Hmm," Gaara replied, and looked at the pavement again. Those things the boy had described were beautiful, artistic even. At first, at the museum, Gaara had gotten the image that this boy wasn't so familiar with art but it seemed that Naruto saw the art in nature, in day-to-day life, rather than in photos or in paintings. It was a talent, too, to see the beauty in this horrid world. Art made by people was Gaara's way of escapism – a 'perfect' picture of a banana sofa got him momentarily thinking that the world was perfect, too. It was an illusion, a beautiful lie, in which he often liked to lull himself into. "Do you like to spend time with your friends?" the redhead then asked, giving a sideway glance to his companion.

"Uh… Yeah, that too," Naruto was quick to lie (for he hadn't any friends) until he remembered that recently, he had actually made one friend – Kankuro. "Definitely," he then added, more surely now. He actually loved the time spent with the brunette. He missed having such a contact with another human being. "Do you have a lot of friends?"

"Some. But not tons of," was Gaara's honest opinion. He looked up at the sky, to see a flicker of sun in there. It was a rare light phenomenon in October. "I'm not a people person."

"Oh," the blond replied, understanding that not everyone thrived for social relationships.

"I live in that building," Gaara said as they neared a row house. It was a building made out of brown bricks and it had a black tin roof. Overall, the place looked quite homey, even though a bit gloomy in the dimmed light of the day. As Gaara searched his bag for keys in front of the locked door, Naruto gazed into the direction of the apartment's blackened windows and pondered what it would look like on the inside.

Flipping on the lights in the hallway, Gaara turned to look at Naruto to see his reaction.

The blond boy gazed at the hallway walls where photos of all sizes were placed. The same decorative style seemed to continue in the other rooms that were visible to the front door. Some of the pictures were black-and-white, whereas others were full-color or sepia.

"You've got quite a collection, you know," Naruto finally spoke his mind, as he took off his shoes and jacket.

"I know," the redhead smiled slightly.

"Why did you choose to decorate this way?" the blond couldn't help but ask. He had only one poster on his wall at home, nothing else. To see someone have a whole albumful of photos like this impressed him.

"Some years ago, I made a decision to take a picture or two about every pleasant occasion I've had, or a person I've met. It started with a few photos, and now I have a couple more," Gaara replied, taking off his jacket in turn.

Naruto went closer to inspect the pictures that were put on the hallway wall. In most pictures, the people were either solemn or looked away. But the blond found one photo where the target was half-smiling, half-laughing.

"She was my first serious relationship," came Gaara's voice behind Naruto's back, and suddenly the blond realized that the other was standing quite close to him – again. Carefully, the blond craned his head to see his date.

"What happened?" The blond boy asked. It wasn't surprising him that his companion had dated the opposite sex – Gaara had told him he used to be a bisexual.

"She left me, after falling in love with my brother," the redhead told, and when he looked at the picture, the blond couldn't detect warmth of any kind in the jade eyes.

"What a sad story," Naruto tried to comfort.

"The story of my life, at least sometimes it feels like it. But nah, I'm totally over with it." Now, the redhead was looking elsewhere.

"But why are you still keeping her picture in here, if she doesn't represent nice feelings in you?" Naruto couldn't help but ask.

"Life isn't only about nice feelings. You have to view it as whole. That's why I've also chosen pictures which represent sad times, so that I would remember that life has that side, too."

The blond nodded, thinking about the philosophy. Maybe the redhead was right. Maybe the sad things in life shouldn't be overlooked but taken as a counterbalance of happiness. Because if you were never sad, would you know what happiness felt like?

"But as I promised, I will now cook for us. If I remember correctly, I have ingredients for seaweed ramen," Gaara informed, heading into the kitchen.

With Naruto's help, the delicious dinner was ready in no time. They were sitting at the kitchen table, and Naruto was already halfway through with his share. He couldn't stop himself for wolfing down the dish. But something was bugging the blond boy, something he was wondering.

"So, you have a brother?" he asked. "I'm an only child, or so I've been told."

"Sometimes I wish I was too," Gaara said, looking down to his plate and poking his food with a chopstick. "Don't get me wrong, though. I like my brother nowadays. But there are things in the past that could've gone better."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing much. It's old stuff and I don't feel like going in there," the redhead replied politely, giving a meaningful look to his companion.

"I understand," Naruto backed off, realizing that there were things in his life too, which he didn't want to discuss about.

Gaara glanced at the clock. They still had over an hour and a half until the gig would begin. Eating the last of his share, he tried to smother the feelings that had risen when topic of the past had been brought up. Wiping his mouth on a napkin, he looked at the boy and wondered how to bring up his next idea. He hadn't actually suggested anything like this to any of his previous dates, but Naruto seemed like an open-minded person and otherwise suitable, too.

But the boy spoke before Gaara could say anything: "Thanks for the food. It was delicious!" The happy words were accompanied with a bright smile.

"No problem, I'm glad you liked," was the humble reply. Then, Gaara looked down to his lap, as if he was unsure, and then he directed his gaze back into the blue eyes. "Would you… uh, like to get ready for the gig?"

"Yeah," Naruto replied casually. He was sure that it meant that they would listen to the performing band's records and 'get into the mood for a gig' that way.

"Alright, let's go to the living room, then," the redhead suggested and went there first. He turned on the stereos and put on some music, music which Naruto imagined was the band's in question.

The blond sat down onto the dark red couch and let his gaze roam over the photos on the walls. He didn't realize that his date had disappeared until Gaara came back into the room.

"Naruto," the redhead began, holding a medium-sized bag in his hand, watching the boy with a mysterious look on his face.

The boy noticed the look, and sat a bit straighter, his hands subconsciously moving to rest on his lap. The weird, adult-ish look was back on the redhead's face, and Naruto felt so young and inexperienced again.

Gaara sat down next to the boy, and put the bag to his lap. He fiddled it for a second, and then gazed at the blond with darkened eyes. "I would like to apply make-up to your face."

"Huh-What?" Naruto hadn't seen that coming. Before any other reaction could replace the bafflement, the blond felt Gaara's cool touch on his cheek. The redhead's pale fingers were ghosting on the tanned skin, as if afraid to fully touch.

"You would look so cool. Let me, please." It was said in a whispered voice, and now the touch turned more present – as if finally the redhead let himself feel the other's warm skin. Gaara wondered if he was being too daring, but at the same time he realized that his rational side had long ago lost, and he was now drowning in the quicksand. He tried to tell himself that he was crazy, mad - a nutbag really, but somehow all this thinking didn't make him want to change his plans. And he couldn't make the said words unspoken anymore…

"Uh, I can't go outside wearing make-up," Naruto reasoned, feeling a bit alarmed about the other's request. He knew that the redhead was a make-up artist in Konoha Theatre, but still… The blond gazed into the darkened jade depths, obviously Gaara himself wore at least eye make-up. Maybe Gaara was at peace with wearing make-up and showing it to the world, or being in balance with his sexuality but Naruto felt scared at showing that kind of side to the rest of the people. He didn't want that anyone would think he wanted to look like a girl…

"Nothing drastic, I promise. I would just put on some eye-shadow, some foundation, maybe a touch of kohl. You wouldn't even notice the difference," Gaara promised, withdrawing his hand. He had been too daring, hadn't he? Naruto would soon say 'no' and leave, leave him alone in this house with all these (mostly) haunting pictures which he was somehow unable to take down.

"You promise?" Naruto was still unsure.

"With my honor," Gaara said solemnly, putting a hand above his heart like making an oath. Had the boy really agreed on this? The redhead was pleasantly surprised.

"Only a little bit of make-up, okay?"

"Sure thing," was all the redhead replied, for he was already rummaging through the bag which seemed to contain make-up accessories.

Naruto sat with his back straight as he felt Gaara spread foundation on his skin. The redhead explained something about it making his skin look paler, lighter. The blond nodded, wondering what he would end up looking like. But he could always wash off it all, if he wasn't happy with it, couldn't he? It was actually very nice to see the concentrated look in the green eyes, the enthusiasm that leaked from the jade pools. It was clear that Gaara loved his job. And oh how gentle the redhead was! Naruto almost got jealous of the actors that the redhead made up on daily basis, and the blond wondered if Gaara was as gentle with them, too.

Closing his eyes, the blond let the other apply the eye-shadow. His eyelids twitched at first but soon he got used to the new sensation. He breathed calmly, letting the make-up be applied. As asked to do so, Naruto opened his eyes as was time to put on some kohl. It felt weird, to have someone touch his eye, but after some time, he got used to it, too.

Gaara watched as the artwork in front of him was almost ready. He really loved beauty, and this boy was clearly an epitome of it. Naruto was like an empty canvas, and Gaara wanted to be the artist who would bring him into life. Sure he felt weird at making up the blond, but he had really wanted to do it. Before this, he hadn't dared to suggest this to anyone on a first date. But something had convinced him that Naruto would be different than all of the previous people he had met.

With a final touch of kohl, Gaara admired the work now finished. He had put a very pale foundation on the boy's face, then added a hint of black eye-shadow and lined the outer corners of the eyes with dark blue kohl. Naruto looked gothic, or vampire-like, beautiful to Gaara. But it would be a different story if the blond would agree on going out looking like this.

"It's finished?" Naruto asked, as Gaara only sat there, staring at him with the deepest of looks.

"Yeah, here's a mirror for you," the redhead said, draping a small object to the boy.

Naruto inspected himself via the pocket mirror, pondering how different he now looked like. He didn't hate it or anything, he just didn't feel like himself. He didn't look like a girl at all, to his relief, rather this new look reminded him about a gothic vampire. Even his lips looked redder now, because the pale foundation made the contrast to his skin more obvious. But in the dimness of the living room, the make-up wasn't too eye-catching – maybe he really could attend to a gig looking like this…

"Well… What do you think?" the redhead asked carefully, unable to tear his gaze away from the living work of art.

"It's alright, I could even go out like this," the blond replied, turning his gaze to rest on Gaara.

For an answer, the redhead nodded and then zipped the make-up bag. He put the bag to the floor, his attention now fully on Naruto again. "You look… good," was all he dared to say. He couldn't say beautiful, even though that was exactly what he thought of. He was afraid that the word 'beautiful' was too feminine. And the expression 'handsome' would've had a bigger sexual load than the now used word 'good'. 'Good' was a safe word, it was neutral enough and didn't give anything away really.

"…Thanks," Naruto replied, not sure how to take the compliment. He felt suddenly self-conscious for being complimented by another male – a male that was gay, too. "You made me look… good," he then added, not sure how to phrase his thoughts.

"No, I merely emphasized your features. You're naturally beautiful." Before Gaara could even realize it, he had let the unsafe word slip.

Naruto blushed, even though he believed it wasn't visible thanks to the pale foundation. He was flattered, yet the compliment felt a bit awkward. Even though he had always yearned to hear such words from another male, his own feelings were confusing him: he wasn't yet sure what he felt for Gaara, if he felt anything at all, and then there were his slight crush on Kankuro. It felt kind of wrong to have someone else take interest in him other than the brunette, no matter that Kankuro was a hetero.

"Sorry, I made you uncomfortable," Gaara offered an apology. He looked elsewhere.

"No, it's just… I didn't know right away what to say," Naruto replied hurriedly, waving his hand nervously in the air.

"Maybe we should head to the centre again, the gig will start in a half an hour," the redhead suggested, deciding that maybe it was best to direct the weird conversation somewhere else.

The blond nodded, and followed Gaara as he headed into the hallway. Naruto began to put on his shoes, meanwhile the redhead attached some chains on his skinny low-waist jeans. Also, the blond noticed that Gaara applied some more kohl to his already dark-rimmed eyes, and to his surprise, the man put on some very pale lipstick. To Naruto, the redhead looked like a corpse in a morgue now and it was sort of cool.

As they stepped on the bus in the nearby stop, the driver gave them a skeptical look. 'Youngsters', he must've thought. The sun was setting and the two males admired the orange, dying glow in the otherwise darkened horizon.

"Do you like the sun best, or the night that falls?" Gaara asked, glancing at the boy sitting next to him.

"The light."

"I thought so. I like the darkness best, for the city lights are something I adore," the redhead said, glancing at the igniting street lamps and neon signs that scuttled past as the bus went on. "The city is best at five in the morning. There aren't much people outside then, but the lights are on, it's like a ghost town."

Naruto nodded for an answer. At five in the morning, he was always sleeping in his semi-comfortable bed, not wandering outside. But it was easy to believe that Gaara was a creature of the night.

The bar where the gig was being held was quite crowded. To Naruto's surprise, the bouncer hadn't asked his ID card to check his age, a nod from Gaara had been enough to let them in. Inside the bar, Naruto soon noticed that in this selection of people, he and Gaara didn't stand out at all – everyone was wearing make-up, even the guys, and others had piercings and even tattoos. Overall, the people looked quite emo. To Naruto's relief, no one seemed to pay attention to the fact that he was wearing make-up.

Gaara chose them a table furthest away from the stage – that way they could have conversations despite the live music. "What would you like to drink?"

"Um, a glass of Fanta would be fine, thanks," Naruto said modestly, letting the other to get their drinks.

Some people, guys and girls, were sparing glances at the blond, who politely nodded to them. It seemed like one of them wanted to come to chat with him, but when they saw Gaara return to the table with two drinks, they stopped paying attention to Naruto.

"Hmm… Tastes different," was all the blond said as he sipped his share.

"Really?" Gaara asked, tasting his gin and tonic. There was a slice of lemon put on the edge of his glass. The truth was he had asked the bartender to slightly fortify the boy's soda. Alcohol wouldn't harm the blond, it would only make him more relaxed.

Shrugging, an innocent Naruto enjoyed his drink, unaware.

When the band finally arrived on the stage, Gaara sat a little bit straighter to see the members of the music group over the crowd. After a short intro, the actual music began. Naruto noticed that as soon as this happened, the redhead began to tap his foot in rhythm. If he heard right, the other also hummed the notes.

Naruto leaned back in his chair, sipping his soda. The music wasn't bad but he wasn't really listening to it. What he concentrated on was the red haired man sitting across from him, the man who had been the first to take _that kind_ of interest in him. Gaara glanced at him every now and then, but didn't say a word. Naruto slowly drank his soda, and in some strange way, it made him more relaxed. Like all the tension in his muscles was fading away, leaving him in a peaceful yet weird state: he felt sort of blurry, like all his senses weren't sharp as usual. Maybe it was just a couple of badly slept nights.

The blond inspected his feelings, deciding that Gaara was okay, yet he hadn't felt any sudden infatuation with him like he had felt with Kankuro on the bus, when he had smelled the strong musk. Even now, when he thought of the scent of musk, it made his knees go weak. He felt like he was betraying Gaara, because he was thinking of someone else… Why couldn't life be easier, why did he have to fall for a hetero, when there was now a handsome gay person taking interest in him?

Naruto sighed, and glanced at the band performing. The disco balls that hung from the roof flashed, sending dots of light all over the room. The people around were dancing and having fun but Naruto felt out of place. He was glad that Gaara hadn't asked him to join the dancing crew, because honestly he didn't even know how to move in the rhythm of music without looking ridiculous. He only knew the steps of waltz.

If only his heart wasn't so full of Kankuro, why the image of the brunette kept on emerging into his mind in an increasing pace?

Naruto got awakened from his thoughts when a full glass of soda was put in front of him. Gaara had been kind enough to refill his glass. The redhead had bought a drink to himself, too: that was his third gin and tonic this night, still Gaara didn't appear tipsy at all. "Thanks," Naruto said, and smiled, but the smile didn't reach his eyes.

Gaara noticed this but didn't react in any way. He had a vague feeling what was going on. But he let the matter be, at least for now. Because at this moment, he wanted to enjoy his favorite band's music and keep the blond for himself, as long as he could. He was pretty sure that after the gig, the boy would want to go home and that would be it. They would go their separate ways and never speak again. Earnestly, he took a long gulp of his gin and tonic. The drink was lovely in its bitterness, he could feel it in his throat.

The redhead wanted that Naruto would enjoy, but the way the boy sighed and rubbed his face from time to time told more than words could. And whenever he stole a glance at the boy, Naruto looked solemn and concentrated like he was deep in his own little world. Even from afar, Gaara smelled the coconut and a hint of cedar, and took another gulp. He turned his head to see the boy, only to notice that the blond had that serious expression on his beautiful face again.

"Would you like to go?" Gaara asked, and the blond looked dumbfounded now.

"Why? Don't you like it here?" Naruto asked back.

"Do you?" was the counter-question.

"I like it here alright."

"But I could use a breath of fresh air," Gaara said and stood to leave. He expected the boy to follow him.

And Naruto did follow, for he stumbled up from his chair not so gracefully. Two fortified sodas could do that to you. The blond felt a little different now, he had felt like that a bit longer now, and he tried to walk straight as he followed Gaara outside.

The sun had already set at this time of the day, and the neon signs of the city were shining brightly. A cold gust of wind blew straight through Naruto's clothes, and he shivered. Gaara was leading them further away from the bar, and Naruto walked right next to him, still shivering a little.

"We aren't going back are we?" the blond asked.

"It was getting stuffy in there," Gaara only said, not feeling bad that they had left the bar. It wasn't because of that why he was feeling sad.

They were walking through a park, and under a large, leafless oak tree, there was a bench by the road. On a whim, the redhead walked to it and sat down, wishing that the other would do the same. And it seemed he was in luck tonight, for what he wished, happened.

Gaara looked up, and saw a starry night sky through the bare branches. "I know you have something, or someone, in your mind." He was looking at the boy now.

But before wide-eyed Naruto could reply, the other continued: "And you most likely wanted to go outside with me just to forget about him… or her." Gaara stared down to the ground, this was the story of his pitiful life. Why had he thought that this boy would be an exception? The soft scents of cedar and coconut floated to his nose and he almost got crazy because of that. Not to mention the boy's god-like features, his innocent eyes and full lips. How could anyone be so appealing?

Naruto looked down, too, not sure if he should deny or admit. But as always, he chose the path of truth. "You're right, I do have someone on my mind. But it's a hopeless crush: he won't respond to me, ever."

Now it was Gaara's time to sigh. He had been right, then? He looked at the sad blond. The gothic make-up made him extra beautiful. And now in the moonlight, those apathetic blue eyes looked dark like an ocean. The surrounding dimness made the boy's pale skin look like ivory. The darkness around his eyes only emphasized the melancholy impression. And Gaara had been always a sucker for melancholy. Those dark blue eyes were looking at him, and all Gaara wanted to do was to comfort, to show Naruto that there were other people on this planet who would make him happy, who would praise his beauty.

Without further thought, the redhead leaned in and kissed the boy.

Like an instinct, Gaara's hands gripped gently the blond locks, surprised at their silky softness, refusing to let go. The boy's lips were nothing the redhead had imagined: they were so much better that no fantasy could ever compare. With a last tender peck, Gaara ended the kiss but his hands remained on the locks.

Naruto's eyes were super wide, like marbles. His lips were still parted, as he stared at the misty jade depths, which held so much warmth in them, but also desperation. The blond wasn't cold anymore, he felt currently rather hot. The kiss… it had been so emotional, his first one too, and it had sent pleasant shivers up and down his spine. The kiss confused Naruto, who now felt like torn in two. On the other hand, he felt a growing interest in Gaara, then again, he feared that someone had seen them and what had just happened would somehow get into the knowledge of Kankuro.

"You can't have both," the redhead whispered, seeing the tormented look in the blue eyes. "It's either me or the guy who doesn't even notice you. Or neither of us. The choice is yours."

Nodding, the blond understood. He just wasn't sure. His heart's will was complicated.

"I'll go home now. You can follow me if you want to, and we both know what it means. But if you want him instead, I wish you luck," Gaara said, standing up. Naruto remained sitting, looking at him with impossibly innocent eyes.

Without further ado, the redhead turned and left. Each step he took felt like a mistake, but he wanted that Naruto would do those decisions himself, without pressure. He didn't want to end up being a substitute. His eyes felt wet, damn if his eyeliner began to run!

Naruto looked at the retreating back of the man who had given him his first kiss. He remembered the pleasant shivers, and the tender touch on his locks. He remembered Gaara's careful concentration as he had applied the make-up on his face, the tenderness of the act. An image of Kankuro flashed in his mind, the way Kankuro had protected him from the bullies, and how the brunette had massaged him. It had been a wonderful moment, yet all he ever had could be Kankuro's friendship, nothing deeper.

Gaara had walked quite far away already. In his black clothes, he was hardly visible from the night. What if he really rejected Gaara? Would he ever find a lover for himself in here, for Konoha was a relatively small city? Would he spend his life alone, bitter that he had rejected the man who had shown interest in him? Would he really be doomed to loneliness if he now said no?

Suddenly alarmed, Naruto jumped up and started to walk briskly into the direction where the redhead had gone to. If there was a God, he would not let the redhead disappear into the night yet. When he saw nothing but darkness around, Naruto was getting desperate. What if his chance was wasted? What if he would lose Gaara, and would lose Kankuro, and end up all alone? Running now, the blond hoped against hope that he hadn't wasted too much time on thinking, when he should've acted instead.

Just when he considered shouting the other's name, he saw a distancing figure and the moment he recognized it was him, it felt like his heart had momentarily stopped from relief. Naruto ran to him, and took him by the hand. There was a surprised look on the redhead's face.

"Gaara…" Naruto whispered, unable to keep the desperation and relief from his voice.

"You came," the redhead said in an equally quiet voice. "So you know what this means?"

"Yeah," the blond said, not totally sure if he understood each and every implication.

Gaara gave a quick peck on the blond's lips, then squeezed Naruto's hand. "Let's go, then."

Nodding, Naruto followed, and at that moment, he forgot that he was in a public place, holding hands with another male, wearing make-up… He only felt relief that he had been able to save himself from the loneliness.

They took the next bus to Blackwater, admired the glowing city and the dim lights of the ghostly ships in the harbor. Blackwater was a peaceful residential area, almost like a ghost town in the evenings. Gaara and Naruto walked on the alleys lined with black-windowed blocks of flats. Those prefab buildings looked gaunt but they couldn't flatten the bubbling enthusiasm the two of them had.

They walked along the alley where Gaara lived, his house already visible. But they didn't see one person standing at the door, waiting.

Gaara was just telling a story about a rehearsal of one play, when his eyes hit the person in black, standing in the shadows. Without him noticing it, he squeezed Naruto's hand tighter.

"Hello," the redhead said casually, searching his pocket for keys with his free hand. "Have you waited for a long time?"

"Nope, just got here," Kankuro replied trying to keep his voice nonchalant, glancing at the entwined hands of Gaara and… Naruto? He was shocked, for more reasons than just one.

Naruto had tensed the moment he had realized just who was standing there in the shadows of the night. He tried to jerk his hand free but Gaara didn't let him. Looking down to his shoes, the blond thought of how to explain this to Kankuro. Now the brunette would know about his orientation, how would that change their friendship? What if Kankuro didn't accept homosexuality? Some people were like that…

"Naruto," Gaara addressed, as he let them in, "This is my brother Kankuro."

They were brothers? Naruto had already opened his mouth to form a sentence, but before the blond could even think of how to reply, the brunette spoke. "Actually we know each other, we're friends." The last word was said with some sort of possessiveness, at least that was what Naruto believed he was hearing. But it could only be his imagination…

"Oh, what a coincidence," was all the redhead said, as he took off his jacket and shoes. "How did you two meet?"

"It's a long story," Kankuro waved off the question. It wasn't so important. "How did you guys meet, then?" he asked with hands in his pocket, trying to sound casual, trying to hide his burning curiosity.

The blond was already thinking of how to tell the truth, when Gaara replied instead. "It's a long story, too." Then, he added with a sing-song tone, "Coffee, anyone?" Not caring that he got no replies, he strode into the kitchen to prepare the black extract.

That left Kankuro and Naruto standing in the hallway. It was an awkward situation.

The brunette glanced at the boy, a million thoughts and questions swirling in his mind. So, Naruto was gay? Did that change anything? What about yesterday, when he had given the boy a massage–had the blond taken it 'the wrong way', just because he was a homosexual. How about that time when Naruto had come to sleep next to him on the bed, how should he interpret that action now? Had the boy felt difficult sleeping on the floor or had there been something more? Should he even dig this deep on these (perhaps trivial) matters?

Would their friendship remain the same as always, or would everything change now? But the most difficult question to answer was, how would Kankuro feel from now on, in the presence of the boy: he had indeed had these weird ideas about the same sex–now that he knew Naruto was gay, would he allow himself to do something he had not done before? It took a second for Kankuro to realize, though, that the redhead and the blond had been holding hands–that meant they were dating. And what chance did an old man like Kankuro have with the boy? No, their relationship would only be disgusting and questionable.

"So…" Naruto began after an awkward silence. "I didn't know you two were brothers."

"Yeah… And I didn't know you were dating my brother or that you were into…" Kankuro trailed off, shrugging and staring at the oriental carpet on the hallway floor. Somehow the curly pattern on it made him relieved, reminding him that not only his personal life just now seemed complicated.

The blond felt sort of sorry for being gay, even though he tried to smother the guilt. It wasn't really anything he could choose. With lack of anything else to say, he spoke: "We met on the Internet."

That got Kankuro's attention. He looked at the boy, his question about how gay people met each other now answered. He had always thought that they used their 'gay radar' or something, or had an underground organization or something as crazy as that. "You should be careful on the Internet. A lot of bad people lurk in there."

"I know, but your brother is not a lurker," Naruto said, thankful that his friend thought about his safety.

Kankuro wasn't so sure about his brother trustworthiness, so he only shrugged for an answer.

Right then, Gaara appeared carrying three mugs of steaming coffee. He led them into the living room and put on some music. It seemed that he didn't like the silence of the house.

Gaara sat right next to Naruto on the couch, and put an arm over him, just to show off. He noticed that this caused a small reaction in Kankuro, and he was secretly happy about that. The brunette had charmed too many of his girlfriends, without keeping them long enough. To Gaara, it seemed that Kankuro didn't actually love any of the girls, he just dated them for some time and then broke up. It gave an annoying, lewd impression about Kankuro, and Gaara knew that deep inside, Kankuro was not wanton.

The blond accepted the mug of coffee, even drank some of it, even though he wasn't actually a coffee-lover. But for the sake of social acceptance, he did now this exception. He felt a little uneasy at being in Gaara's half-hug in front of his secret crush, Kankuro.

"So, what brings you here tonight?" the redhead finally asked, directing his gaze at the brunette.

Kankuro, who was sitting on the armchair, put his mug to the coffee table. "I came to get my CDs back and to just hang around but of course, I didn't know you had company." Now that he looked at the boy again in the bright lighting of the living room, he noticed that he was wearing make-up. No wonder that the blond had looked different in the darkened hallway, somehow gaunter, like a corpse. Kankuro knew that making up his partners was one of Gaara's weird quirks. The redhead was odd like that. But apparently it seemed that Naruto was okay with that…

It made him uneasy that he found the boy actually pretty with that kind of gothic make-up, not that the boy wasn't handsome without… And he hadn't just thought that! Naruto was just a kid, or underage, anyway, and Kankuro wondered if Gaara had had any moral debate with himself about dating a kid. Probably not, knowing how the redhead was like.

"You'll get your CDs later, I still need them," Gaara said.

"Alright, I think I'll get going now. Thanks for the coffee and… Gaara, can I get a word with you, now?" Kankuro replied, getting up from the chair.

"Sure," the redhead said nonchalantly, getting up, too. "Naruto, if you'll excuse us for a second."

The blond nodded, half of his coffee still in the mug. He couldn't understand how anyone could love the bitter extract.

Kankuro closed the kitchen door behind him and Gaara, and the moment he met the jade eyes, he understood that his brother wasn't actually sympathetic with him.

"What is it?" Gaara asked quietly, crossing his arms. He didn't like it that his big brother wanted to have a word with him in a situation like this. It couldn't be about anything nice. Clearly, this conversation was something Kankuro didn't want Naruto to hear, so the topic had to be the boy itself. The redhead sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to prepare for anything that was about to come.

"Gaara…" Kankuro began, unsure about what kind of tone of voice to use. He spoke in a low voice, so that it wouldn't be heard in the living room. How should he phrase his thoughts? Finally, he collected himself and asked: "What on earth are you thinking?"

Jade eyes narrowed, filling with coldness. He was waiting for a further explanation. Kankuro knew he was gay, so the fact that his companion was male shouldn't be a problem, or a surprise. Gaara felt a little hurt that his brother had used such an accusing voice, and words that would've suited better to a situation where someone had, for example, planned on jumping from a plane without a parachute.

"He's underage!" Kankuro hissed quietly, afraid that Naruto would hear them. He felt genuinely worried that his brother would get an accusation of harassing a teenager, and the fact that the two of them were both males wasn't really a mitigating circumstance. Someone could see Naruto and Gaara holding hands together and think of something that was not true.

"I can't see why that's any of your concern," the redhead muttered, annoyed that his brother was suddenly showing concern about his relationships. The brunette hadn't showed much concern for him in their childhood and adolescence. Only in adulthood had they grown closer, but not to the point that Kankuro would give him any advice about whom he should or shouldn't be dating. No, the brunette hadn't given him any advice even then when he had told him that his first real boyfriend was beating him. The redhead had been so naïve then, choosing to date a man who had turned out to be like a copy of their father. Nowadays, the memory of that relationship sickened him.

"You could get into trouble, and so could Naruto, too," the brunette pointed out. He was worried, and he was also afraid that if some of the bullies of Naruto saw the blond showing his homosexuality in public, it could worsen the bullying. Besides, Gaara was about six years older than Naruto, and Kankuro was even older. Wouldn't the police or any other form of authority get curious about why a person of Gaara's age was having a relationship with a teenager? Added to that, Gaara was an adult and had adult's needs, whereas Naruto was still underage and innocent. "And besides, it's morally questionable."

Gaara hated it when Kankuro moralized him, when the brunette wasn't a saint himself. He was getting more upset each second, because he really liked Naruto and felt threatened that the blond would be denied from him. The redhead was full of repressed feelings, and they always threatened to erupt when he argued with his brother. Those feelings had begun to pile since childhood, which hadn't been a happy period in his life. Kankuro's way of behaving had been really idiotic back then, and Temari on the other hand had been just plain cold. The older siblings had had their own problems but still, it hadn't been a proper reason to have let certain things happen. "Wasn't that morally questionable, when father beat me and each time, you just listened to it all in your upstairs room, without defending me!?"

Kankuro frowned, clenching his fists without noticing it himself. He knew that their childhood had been rotten, he didn't want to be reminded of it. He knew better than well what his own role had been back then, and it hadn't been the easiest either. It made him annoyed that whenever he fought with Gaara, the redhead always found a way to accuse Kankuro about something. Kankuro couldn't argue with the redhead without ending up being criticized. So he tried to direct the focus of Gaara elsewhere: "Why don't you blame Temari equally, she was part of our family too?"

For a moment, Gaara stayed quiet, just staring at his big brother. The brunette thought he had succeeded in his diversion.

Until the redhead spoke: "You were closer to me." Now, the focus was back on Kankuro again.

In his mind, the brunette cursed. Each and every argument they ever had, ended up with Gaara talking about their childhood and the traumas it had caused, and the redhead always found things Kankuro needed to be scolded about. It was like an endless circle and tonight, Kankuro didn't want it to continue.

"Fine, you win–again. Let's end this argument," the brunette sighed, trying to approach the matter once again maturely. He didn't want to continue this debate, it would only lead them shouting to each other and breaking things around them. It had happened before, and it could happen again.

"Alright, but on the condition that you won't try to moralize me about Naruto anymore," Gaara said, looking at the brunette with a hard look.

Reluctantly nodding, and thinking that he had already said enough, Kankuro left the kitchen and went to the living room.

"Naruto, I'm leaving now. If you want to, I can walk you home."

"He's staying the night, so don't bother," came Gaara's voice behind his back.

Kankuro turned around, narrowed his eyes to his little brother just to remind him about what they had at first talked about, and then walked out of the house. None too gently, he slammed the door shut.

Cool night air hugged Kankuro as he walked away. He hated that their childhood had been so horrible, hated that he himself hadn't been a better person, a better brother. And he hated that even nowadays, Gaara was so bitter, even though for the most of the time, they could come along decently.

He hadn't given himself a permission to think about it earlier, but now that he had seen how possessively Gaara had held Naruto on the sofa, or how they had walked outside keeping their hands entwined, Kankuro felt jealous. Jealous, because Gaara had the courage to do so. Jealous, because Naruto let him.

And he felt bitter about the fact that he was so old already and wouldn't have a chance, plus he really wasn't gay, was he? What if though, he was secretly gay? But it didn't change the fact that Naruto was underage. Gaara didn't have problems with it, then why should Kankuro? Because he was a moral person–but was he, for he had even let their father beat up his little brother without interrupting…

Oh God, he was a horrible person. A jealous, horrible person, who had forbidden feelings he tried to smother.

**-o-o-o-**

On his way home, Kankuro sat peacefully on the bus. He had crossed a forest on his way to the bus stop, and there, in the midst of complete darkness, he had stopped and screamed at the top of his lungs, letting out all the agony and regret. It had strangely eased him. He had wiped his eyes dry from the tears, for he had cried but didn't remember it really happening. Now when he looked back, it all felt surreal.

He had come to a conclusion that he might be just a tiny bit gay. It meant that he really had these (fleeting?) feelings for Naruto. Seeing the blond with the redhead had only strengthened them. He could calmly admit to himself that he was jealous. He was also a horrible person, and if he had to steal his brother's partner, he would do so. He was somehow strangely sure that Naruto was the key of changing his miserable life into something that was worth living.

The thought of Naruto spending the night next to Gaara felt like snakes were swirling in his stomach. He felt like punching something, instead he bit his tongue. Maybe all the shocks he had experienced during this evening were the cause, but he felt like crying again. It was so sissy. Real men wouldn't cry, not in a bus in front of everyone, anyway. Choking back a forbidden cry, Kankuro pushed the stop button and got off a lot earlier than he would've had to.

He felt like sending a text message to Naruto but there was a risk that Gaara would also read it. And what would he tell to the boy, anyway? What if Naruto didn't feel the same, which was a logical outcome, for the boy was dating Gaara–it meant that they liked each other. There was no room for Kankuro in that scheme.

At home, Kankuro collapsed on the bed and wished that the roof would drop and crash him under. If he was honest with himself and didn't purposely dissolve certain thoughts that appeared, he had to admit that he was jealous of Gaara's happiness. He was jealous, because Naruto had awakened some unexplainable feelings in him, and now the redhead had come out of nowhere and snatched the blond for himself. Kankuro felt that if someone should've earned the blond's trust and empathy, it was him.

No matter that he knew that his relationship with Naruto would be considered questionable, he harbored these weird feelings and this burning curiosity, and they wouldn't disappear. He could try to kill his feelings but a part of him didn't want to do it, for he believed that Naruto could turn his life into more interesting.

Another part in him wondered what the redhead and the blond were doing at this precise moment. All kind of curious thoughts popped into his mind, he was unable to rid them. First of all, he didn't even know how long the two of them had dated, or on which level their relationship was in. He knew better than well that his brother's romantic relationships weren't any of his concern, but he still felt interested in for Naruto's sake.

He dug a phone from his pocket and started to write a message. It read: _'We have to talk. Good night.'_ It wasn't a best way to phrase his thoughts, but it was better than nothing in his opinion. With the message sent, he curled up under the blanket, holding the phone in his hand in case Naruto would answer. But the blond didn't reply, and Kankuro fell asleep, seeing all kind of weird dreams.

**-o-o-o-**

**A/N:** _Thanks for reading this far!_


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